Collabtunes · Memorabilia · For adults only
RATED X
FOR ADULTS ONLY - RATED X - PAGE 3 OF 3
9 pieces on this page · every one an original · for adults only · dashed lines are yours to fill
RATED X · POEMS IN THE 34 ALBUMS · FULL
Item 108
Come along with Michael Hawk
In one sentence: An adult piece, rated X: a handwritten playful poem on a single loose-leaf sheet, part of a song in Tom's 34 Albums, written by 2011.
Item type
POEM · IN 34 ALBUMS · FULL LYRICS
PUBLISHED · POEM · FULL
Tom's handwritten playful poem "Come along with Michael Hawk / Won't you dance with Michael Hawk," on a single loose-leaf sheet, published in The November 2024 Collection (2024).
- Why it matters
- Tom's playful poem "Come along with Michael Hawk / Won't you dance with Michael Hawk" - a poem in his 34 Albums, in Only The Best (2018) and The November 2024 Collection (2024).draft - not yet provedon file: muse WIFE
- Type
- Handwritten sheet
- Collection
- 34 Albums (song list not given) ; Only The Best (2018) ; A Lifetime Of Rhyme (2020) ; Tom's Anthology, September 18, 2011 ; Funny ; Inspired by his wifedraft - not yet proved
- Published in
- IN 34 ALBUMS
IN A BOOKThe November 2024 Collection (2024)
Brian Rainstorm: Poetry Not Dead (2014)
Only The Best (2018)
A Lifetime Of Rhyme (2020)
Tom's Anthology, September 18, 2011
34 Albums, Books 1 and 2 (2026)
Revised 31 Albums With Index (2024)
Tom Jensen Lyrics (2019) - Age when written
- written by age 33 at the latestdated from the earliest book it appears in - the sheet itself may be older
- On the site
- Set List 5 (track 3) · Set List 5: Living A La Mode, all-in-one page · Tom's Story: 2011
Price · Tier · Tom fills these
The only picture of this piece
The words on this page
Come along with Michael Hawk
Won't you Dance with Michael Hawk
Hum a song to Michael Hawk
Wrap your hands around Michael Hawk
But Never laugh at Michael Hawk
Or Never turn your back on Michael Hawk
Or you could get slapped by Michael Hawk
For He's very rash that Michael Hawk
Have him [?] [?] B for breakfast Michael Hawk
Have him [?] Make him supper Michael Hawk
Let him meet your sister and mother Michael Hawk
Just not your Father and brother Michael Hawk
that's why you'll fall in love with Michael Hawk
He'll Fit you like a glove Michael Hawk
And No man rises above Michael Hawk
He's very well-thought-of Michael Hawk
Won't you Dance with Michael Hawk
Hum a song to Michael Hawk
Wrap your hands around Michael Hawk
But Never laugh at Michael Hawk
Or Never turn your back on Michael Hawk
Or you could get slapped by Michael Hawk
For He's very rash that Michael Hawk
Have him [?] [?] B for breakfast Michael Hawk
Have him [?] Make him supper Michael Hawk
Let him meet your sister and mother Michael Hawk
Just not your Father and brother Michael Hawk
that's why you'll fall in love with Michael Hawk
He'll Fit you like a glove Michael Hawk
And No man rises above Michael Hawk
He's very well-thought-of Michael Hawk
Item 131
Never again
In one sentence: An adult piece, rated X: a handwritten song on white loose-leaf with a few crossouts, kept with a yellow legal-pad sheet, from the early yellow binder, written by 2011.
Item type
POEM · IN 34 ALBUMS · FULL LYRICS
PUBLISHED · POEM · FULL
Tom's handwritten song "Never again, never again, never again / Will I cut you out," on a white loose-leaf sheet with heavy crossouts, together with a yellow legal-pad sheet titled UH, THAT'S CHRISTMAS NANA - one of the first poems in his early yellow binder.
- Why it matters
- Tom's song "Never again, never again, never again / Will I cut you out" with heavy crossouts, one of the first poems in his early yellow binder - in his 34 Albums, Poems By Tom (2007) and Only The Best (2018).draft - not yet proved
- Type
- Handwritten sheet
- Collection
- 34 Albums (song list not given) ; Yellow binder (early poems) ; Poems By Tom (2007) ; Only The Best (2018) ; Chomskian Poems (2011) ; Family ; State of the Worlddraft - not yet provedthe old category list says: CHOMSKIAN ; MISCELLANEOUS ; STATE OF THE WORLD (not checked by Tom)
- Published in
- IN 34 ALBUMS
IN A BOOKPoems By Tom (2007)
The November 2024 Collection (2024)
Tom Jensen Poem Anthology (2013)
Brian Rainstorm: Poetry Not Dead (2014)
Only The Best (2018)
A Lifetime Of Rhyme (2020)
Tom's Anthology, July 25, 2012
Tom's Anthology, September 18, 2011
34 Albums, Books 1 and 2 (2026)
Chomskian Poems (2011)
Revised 31 Albums With Index (2024)
Tom Jensen Lyrics (2019) - Age when written
- written by age 33 at the latest for NEVER AGAIN; written by age 29 at the latest for UH, THAT'S CHRISTMAS NANANEVER AGAIN: proved: its words are in Tom's Anthology, September 18, 2011 (Laima dedication) - the sheet itself may be older. UH, THAT'S CHRISTMAS NANA: proved: its words are in Poems By Tom (December 11, 2007) - the sheet itself may be older
- On the site
- Set List 21 (track 3) · Set List 21: A Cold Plate, all-in-one page · Tom's Story: 2011
Price · Tier · Tom fills these
Picture 1 of 2
Picture 2 of 2
The words on this page
Never again Never again Never again
Will I cut you out
Never again Never again Never again
Could I go without you
Even though Sometimes I might like to cut you out
I'll be here 'til the very end I have no doubt
Even if I have to pull what's left of my hair out of my head
Sometimes life just isn't fair because I'll love you 'til I'm dead
I have decided that that's my FatE
A love that's one-sided try carrying that weight
Following the one who guided me and helped to create
Some one who finally confided in what was only first-rate
It makes no sense to hide it there's no longer any debate
Never again Never again Never again
Will I cut you out
Never again Never again Never again
Could I go without you
---
Has anyone seen my apron?
Has anyone seen my keys
I can't see too well without my glasses
And I lost them too while I was cooking peas
By the way, do you know where my truck is?
I could have sworn I drove it home
But at least I know when my birthday is
Because this nice man who knew I'd forget it
Kindly carved it on a stone
Well thanks for helping me find my apron
I left it hanging from my waist
When I opened the door to my truck
In the ignition I found the keys that I misplaced
Maybe I'll remember where I left my glasses,
After a good nights sleep so I guess I go to bed
But wouldn't you know it when I went to brush
my teeth
I happened to look up in the mirror
And I saw them glasses on my head
This is just part of getting older
When you forget more than most people remember
I just hope you don't forget my birthay
On the twenty fifty day of December
Will I cut you out
Never again Never again Never again
Could I go without you
Even though Sometimes I might like to cut you out
I'll be here 'til the very end I have no doubt
Even if I have to pull what's left of my hair out of my head
Sometimes life just isn't fair because I'll love you 'til I'm dead
I have decided that that's my FatE
A love that's one-sided try carrying that weight
Following the one who guided me and helped to create
Some one who finally confided in what was only first-rate
It makes no sense to hide it there's no longer any debate
Never again Never again Never again
Will I cut you out
Never again Never again Never again
Could I go without you
---
Has anyone seen my apron?
Has anyone seen my keys
I can't see too well without my glasses
And I lost them too while I was cooking peas
By the way, do you know where my truck is?
I could have sworn I drove it home
But at least I know when my birthday is
Because this nice man who knew I'd forget it
Kindly carved it on a stone
Well thanks for helping me find my apron
I left it hanging from my waist
When I opened the door to my truck
In the ignition I found the keys that I misplaced
Maybe I'll remember where I left my glasses,
After a good nights sleep so I guess I go to bed
But wouldn't you know it when I went to brush
my teeth
I happened to look up in the mirror
And I saw them glasses on my head
This is just part of getting older
When you forget more than most people remember
I just hope you don't forget my birthay
On the twenty fifty day of December
Item 431
My Passion Keeps Calling Out My Name
In one sentence: An adult piece, rated X: a handwritten poem on a spiral-pad sheet, tied in Tom's 34 Albums to a song on set list 5, about 2001-2008.
Item type
POEM · IN 34 ALBUMS · FULL LYRICS
PUBLISHED · POEM · FULL
Tom's handwritten poem My passion keeps calling out my name, about the day he first picked up a pen to write a poem and was never the same, on a spiral-pad sheet, tied in the 34 albums to the song FIFTY WAYS (set list 5, track 10).
- Why it matters
- Tom's original handwritten poem My passion keeps calling out my name, about the day he first picked up a pen to write a poem and was never the same, tied in his 34 Albums to the song FIFTY WAYS (set list 5, track 10).
- Type
- Handwritten sheet
- Collection
- 34 Albums: FIFTY WAYS (SPOOF OF FIFTY WAYS TO LEAVE YOUR LOVER) (set list 5, track 10) ; The November 2024 Collection (2024) ; Tom Jensen Poem Anthology (2013) ; A Lifetime Of Rhyme (2020) ; Tom's Anthology, July 25, 2012 ; Tom's Anthology, September 18, 2011 ; 34 Albums, Books 1 and 2 (2026) ; Revised 31 Albums With Index (2024) ; Writing ; Inspiring
- Published in
- IN 34 ALBUMSset list 5 · track 10 · as the song FIFTY WAYS (SPOOF OF FIFTY WAYS TO LEAVE YOUR LOVER)
IN A BOOKThe November 2024 Collection (2024)
Tom Jensen Poem Anthology (2013)
A Lifetime Of Rhyme (2020)
Tom's Anthology, July 25, 2012
Tom's Anthology, September 18, 2011
34 Albums, Books 1 and 2 (2026)
Revised 31 Albums With Index (2024) - Age when written
- written at age 23 to 29late in its letter of Tom's yellow binder index (line O17) - after the first 481 poems (5 April 2002) and before Poems by Tom (December 2007)
- On the site
- Set List 5 (track 10) · Set List 5: Living A La Mode, all-in-one page · Tom's Story: 2004
Price · Tier · Tom fills these
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Picture 2 of 4
Moved here from item 1102 - the number blocks in this photo read 431
Moved here from item 1102 - the number blocks in this photo read 431
Picture 3 of 4
Moved here from item 1102 - the number blocks in this photo read 431
Moved here from item 1102 - the number blocks in this photo read 431
Picture 4 of 4
Moved here from item 1102 - the number blocks in this photo read 431
Moved here from item 1102 - the number blocks in this photo read 431
The words on this page
My passion keeps calling out my name
From The first moment I picked up my pen
to write a poem - I was never the same
Changed forever in a day
and If a picture's worth a thousand words
Then stick around 'cause I've got a lot more to say...
I was wasting day after day
Living from hand-to-mouth
Didnt realize I had lost my way
As I kept on heading south
But When the winter weather wasn't warm
I finalling found I'd figured what it was all about
Checked in to get better - get back on course for the long-term
I checked out when the tide took a turn for the worse
---
50 WAYS TO FUCK YOUR Lover
Put a bag over her head Ted
Make sure she's on the pill Bill
Just whip out your dick Nick
Ride her like a bike Mike
Do her doggy style Kyle
Hit her from the back Jack
Play with her like a toy Roy
Go and slip it in Vin
Give her a spank Frank
Stick it right between her lips Chip
Tell her her to jump on John
How about sharing Aaron
Tell her right now gimmie Jimmy
Make sure there's no quifs Keith
Go dive in the gorge George
Give her your all Paul
You better make her moan Ramon
Drop the bomb Tom
Measure her by the meter Peter
Get it nice and sweaty Eddie
Look out for puss Russ
Whip out the meat Pete
Give it a shave Dave
Grab her two knobs Bob
I wanna hear her squel Neil
Rub it on her hymen Simon
It's time for a cherry theft Jeff
Make sure it's bleeding Steven
Ask her to see the movie FreeWilly Billy
Shoot a wad Rod
Try not to turn her gay Ray
Go get a blow Mo
Play home run derby with your bat Matt
Do her in the dark Mark
Watch out for the smell Mel
Make her black and blue Lou
Ask her to beg Greg
Time to play Adam and eve steve
Lift up her skirt Kurt
Make her your Bitch Rich
Try for the fist Chris
Make sure it's clean Dean
Don't be a dad Brad
Get her wet and hot Scott
Make her panties sticky Rickey
Never settle for a hug Doug
Go taste some candy Andy
Let her ride the bologny Pony Tony
Unbutton her pants Lance
Just give her a good fuck Chuck
From The first moment I picked up my pen
to write a poem - I was never the same
Changed forever in a day
and If a picture's worth a thousand words
Then stick around 'cause I've got a lot more to say...
I was wasting day after day
Living from hand-to-mouth
Didnt realize I had lost my way
As I kept on heading south
But When the winter weather wasn't warm
I finalling found I'd figured what it was all about
Checked in to get better - get back on course for the long-term
I checked out when the tide took a turn for the worse
---
50 WAYS TO FUCK YOUR Lover
Put a bag over her head Ted
Make sure she's on the pill Bill
Just whip out your dick Nick
Ride her like a bike Mike
Do her doggy style Kyle
Hit her from the back Jack
Play with her like a toy Roy
Go and slip it in Vin
Give her a spank Frank
Stick it right between her lips Chip
Tell her her to jump on John
How about sharing Aaron
Tell her right now gimmie Jimmy
Make sure there's no quifs Keith
Go dive in the gorge George
Give her your all Paul
You better make her moan Ramon
Drop the bomb Tom
Measure her by the meter Peter
Get it nice and sweaty Eddie
Look out for puss Russ
Whip out the meat Pete
Give it a shave Dave
Grab her two knobs Bob
I wanna hear her squel Neil
Rub it on her hymen Simon
It's time for a cherry theft Jeff
Make sure it's bleeding Steven
Ask her to see the movie FreeWilly Billy
Shoot a wad Rod
Try not to turn her gay Ray
Go get a blow Mo
Play home run derby with your bat Matt
Do her in the dark Mark
Watch out for the smell Mel
Make her black and blue Lou
Ask her to beg Greg
Time to play Adam and eve steve
Lift up her skirt Kurt
Make her your Bitch Rich
Try for the fist Chris
Make sure it's clean Dean
Don't be a dad Brad
Get her wet and hot Scott
Make her panties sticky Rickey
Never settle for a hug Doug
Go taste some candy Andy
Let her ride the bologny Pony Tony
Unbutton her pants Lance
Just give her a good fuck Chuck
Item 1730
ALBUM 34 BI RIDE OR DIE
In one sentence: Tom's typed track list for Album 34 of the 34 Albums, reordered by hand, with printed lyric sheets for its songs; adult content, rated X, written by 2024.
Item type
POEM · IN 34 ALBUMS · FULL LYRICS
PUBLISHED · POEM · FULL
Tom's typed track list for ALBUM 34, BI RIDE OR DIE, marked New order by hand with circled numbers, with printed lyric sheets for songs from the album such as FOUR PILLS A DAY; in 34 Albums and The November 2024 Collection - adult themes.
- Why it matters
- Tom's typed track list for ALBUM 34, BI RIDE OR DIE, reordered by hand, with printed lyric sheets for its songs such as Four Pills A Day - the running order of an album in 34 Albums and The November 2024 Collection. Adult themes.draft - not yet proved
- Type
- Stack of papers
- Collection
- 34 Albums: Album 34 Bi Ride Or Die ; The November 2024 Collection (2024) ; 34 Albums, Books 1 and 2 (2026) ; Album track lists ; Sex ; Adultdraft - not yet proved
- Published in
- IN 34 ALBUMS
IN A BOOKThe November 2024 Collection (2024)
Shorter Lyrics (2013)
Tom's Anthology, July 25, 2012
Tom's Anthology, September 18, 2011
34 Albums, Books 1 and 2 (2026) - Age when written
- about 2024-2025 (age 45 to 47)likely: its words match the set lists and song files from the 34 Albums years
- Same words
- also written out as number 371matched on the words by machine - Tom confirms
- On the site
- Tom's Story: 2024
Price · Tier · Tom fills these
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Moved here from item 1729 - the number blocks in this photo read 1730
Moved here from item 1729 - the number blocks in this photo read 1730
The words on this page
New order
ALBUM 34
BI RIDE OR DIE
1. You're a Whore, Mrs. Robinson
2. Why I Like Sex
3. Four Pills a Day
4. Like an Angel
5. Three-Month Girl (Melanie [private detail])
6. Risk Genes
7. Slinging Lines
8. Chick Fillet
9. Draining Balls
10. I M Bi Ride
11. Thinking Gets Risky
12. Browser History
13. Grindr Diaries
14. Alex Jones in a Rabbit Hole
15. I've Been Slappin
16. Reading I Blow (Rainbow)
ACT FASTING
Buridan's Ass...
Buridan's Ass...
I know I've become
Lately I've been fee
I look both ways
And still here I'm
With all this ope
And all these th
And yet no clea
Buridan's Ass
Buridan's Ass
He died rig
Left his bo
Buridan's
Buridan'
When
Somet
is just
MY FAN FICTION
She was more than a world away
Yet this dream
SONG THREE
FOUR PILLS A DAY
Who's your favorite band?
Tommy and the Trans.
Who got a lot of fans?
Tommy and the Trans.
Tommy and the Trans....
Tommy and the Trans....
Tommy and the Trans....
---
Sometimes it may be
Oh, for a little while...
I haven't turned the radio on
Since the day you were gone
I'm afraid they'll play our song....
SONG ONE
YOU'RE A WHORE, MRS. R
(in the style of the DOORS)
I know your secret..
You're a dirty little slut!
And I know your weakness
A finger in the butt!
I know your history
As a girl you shouldn't trust
God, it's a mystery
Why we turn our back on love
Nothing could be finer
Than a thumb in her vagina...
In the morning
SONG FIVE BI
THREE-MONTH GIRL (
When you stick your dick
That very first time
It leaves you thinking may
Everything will be fine...
Yeah, I'm sorry for what s
Got the bitch on video
Giving ya chlamydia
She was a three-month gir
in a hundred year old worl
and I told this, she got
When I told her this,
she got so pissed
I thought she was gonna h
From three-month girl
---- hundred vear world
SONG FOUR
LIKE AN ANG
I'll take Caitlin c
And Angel on m
Take off your ur
Trunk dunk, spli
SONG SIX
RISK GENES
I got that bad seed in my blood
Don't have kids because they'd be fucked up....
With risk genes running
up and down the whole family tree
I'm not only fighting my environment
I'm fighting me...
Fighting history
Fighting insanity
It's no mystery
What a calamity
I only got one friend
not gone or dead
I only got perverted thoughts
inside my head
Because of my fears
I'm still here
Yeah, check back
in another year
I take bus stop candy
from strange old men
I like to visit the sauna
every now and again
Glory holes....
well glory be
Twinks, trans and hung
My chosen trinity, Yeah!!!
Who am I?
I'm a shell of my former self
All because I can't control myself
I got things I can't live without
I used to have heroes...
Who have either died...
or otherwise moved on
I used to have heroes...
But those days...
of having heroes are gone
With risk genes running up and down the whole family tree
I'm not only fighting my environment - I'm fighting me
Fighting history, fighting insanity
I only got one friend not gone or dead
I only got perverted thoughts inside my head
Because of my fears I'm still here
Yeah, check back in another year
When you stick your dick in crazy...
That very first time
It leaves you thinking maybe...
Everything will be fine...
---
SONG 10
I M BI RIDE
I'm bi ride or die
I'm bi ride or die
I'm bi ride or die
I'll suck the dick
I'll lick the clit
I'll do some fucking crazy shit
I'll squeeze them tits
I'll spread those cheeks
I'll do it days
I'll do it weeks
Oh yeah, spread those cheeks
I'll squeeze those tits
I'll drain those balls
swallow your kids
I got some gray eyebrows
I shave everything else
I fuck girls, suck guys
While you play with yourself
If there's a set of tits I'll find something to do
I might fist your sister while I'm sucking the goo
Keep trying to break my record four loads in a day
Tied it five times but could not break
I'm bi, ride or die.
I'm bi, ride.
Bi, ride or die.
I'll suck the dick,
I'll lick the clit,
I'll do some fucking crazy shit.
I'll squeeze them tits,
I'll spread those cheeks,
I'll do it days,
I'll do it weeks.
Oh, yeah, spread those cheeks,
I'll squeeze those tits,
I'll drain those balls,
Swallow all the kids.
I got some gray on my eyebrows,
Shave everything else.
I fuck girls, suck guys,
You're home playing with yourself.
If there's a set of tits, I'll find something to do.
I might fist your sister, one hand or two.
Keep trying to break my record, four loads in a day.
Tied it five times, but could not break.
I've had four threesomes,
that's like fucking twelve.
You still, still sit at home
playing with yourself.
---
WALLFLOWER POOP
Gonna take a poop in the night...
Hope it's gonna flush right
Doesn't matter who clogged the bowl
You got a wide asshole
Tried to free it up...
But now the plunger's stuck
Yeah, now you really fucked up!
But now its doesn't matter who did what
Amidst this... now toxic flood!
One, two, three swipes... a poop knife
Shit drips splattered 'neath the seat
Somebody gonna have to clean up
You hope nobody sees you make your great escape
Oh FUCK SHIT it's too late!
Try to come up with a story they can understand
When you notice your hand....
Looks like ya forgot to wipe!
This night didn't go as you had planned.
(6)
---
(5)
GROOVE BACK II
I don't wanna know about my heroes...
The same way I don't wanna know if my doctor drinks
Being who you are has gotten you this far
But you've stalled and hit a wall
My guy... what are you doing to yourself?
Didn't you used to be someone else?
I'm trying to get my groove back
(Groove back)
And prove that
(Prove that)
The haters were wrong
I'm trying to write a new refrain
where I show restraint
and not lose from where I came
you know
same old shit, same old song!
---
(1)
ANOTHER EPIC POEM
As the cameras flashed
Somehow I held everything back
Oh, how I was so ready to snap
Yet so caught up in the moment
I knew I could not show it
So I made it seem like I cherished it
As on the inside I'd lie
and try to hide
All of my rough, jagged edges
and my innermost blemishes
While on the outside I'd smile,
Shake hands and high five
The people as they filed
Up and down now
They're crowding around
both sides of the aisle
This was before your time
This was before your time
This was before your time
Back when you didn't know me
Back when I barely knew myself
This was before your time
This was before your time
This was before your time
Back when I was searching for
Safety in seclusion far away from someone else
But when I heard the magic of your words
As you sang I actually praised the lord!
And those of you who know me would all agree
That's my own personal version of blasphemy...
Why did I believe in you?
Was it because I knew
You'd come to believe in me, too...
Eventually...
Or was it because
before you came around
I found I was spiritually empty...
I was oh so empty...
Then suddenly, you appeared.. dear
And here was this well
Ahh.. Refreshing as hell
Just then your voice rang out
As clear as a bell,
"Drink up, drink up...
For we have more...
Yes, there's plenty!"
Since that day
I have NEVER lost my faith
My faith in me...
My faith in you...
My faith in our ability to adapt or escape...
To either leave or lead this human race!
---
ALBUM 33 ZIONATION
✓ DEFINITELY FULL PIECES (from the uploaded files)
Clearly complete songs (lyrics stand on their own)
BRIBE THE POOR, BLACKMAIL THE RICH
CATCH A STRAY (Song 67)
A MUSLIM AND A JEW (Don't Shoot)
NOBLE PLACE HATE (Song 17)
ONE STEP HIGHER (Song 14)
SUN, MOON AND TRUTH (Song 32)
These are unambiguous keeps. No qualifiers.
✓ FULL PIECES INSIDE THE "ASSORTED" FILE
Even though that file mixes fragments and songs, several entries are complete works, not sketches:
BURIED TREASURE
UNBENDABLE SOLDIERS
FAIRYTALES
KEEPING COOL
EANIE MEANIE
BEFORE NOAH
PLANKTON
From individual files (definitive):
Bribe the Poor, Blackmail the Rich
Catch a Stray
A Muslim and a Jew (Don't Shoot)
Noble Place Hate
One Step Higher
Sun, Moon and Truth
Point My Finger
From "Assorted Zion Nation Album Lyrics" file - confirmed complete songs:
8. Buried Treasure
9. Unbendable Soldiers
10. Fairytales
11. Keeping Cool
12. Eanie Meanie
13. Before Noah
14. Plankton
Kayfabe
---
SONG SEVEN
SLINGING LINES
I put it in and then pulled it out...
First it was her ass and then it was her mouth
Then I slipped it in the only hole she had left
With the grip, zip, tip, dip, then I fled, yeah
I screamed out what the fuck is this?
No, I never signed up for no question mark kids!
I said damn you hit every branch on the fugly tree
Now get the fuck away from me!
I was born with the safety off
That's how I think, that's how I act
That's how I fuck, that's how I walk...
If you can read this
Then the bitch fell off
Says the back of the shirt
As I ride my hog!
---
(8)
WHEN YOU'RE HAMMERED
Can I have my car keys, please?
I wanna go hit some trees...
'Cause I'm hammered!
One text or call
could ruin it all...
When you're hammered!
Yeah, that fine, fine sister
Turns out to be a mister...
When you're hammered!
You were too busy eating
To notice you were bleeding...
'Cause you were hammered!
You just HAD to touch her chest
But that's a felony arrest...
Because you were hammered!
You just peed your pants warm
Like a tropical storm...
Yeah, you were hammered!
In jail you spent the night
When that cop you wanted to fight...
'Cause you were hammered!
Your girlfriend slapped you in the face
The two of you got sprayed with mace...
Because you were both hammered!
If my life was a movie
I'd have died up on that silver screen
I swear I'm the luckiest man alive
Let me tell you son, what I've seen
---
ME AND TOM CRUISE
Bitch don't even know my first name
Still gave her the dick quick just the same
There's a few guys who get to fuck anyone that they choose:
Like Denzel, Collin Jost, Brad Pitt, Me and Tom Cruise, yeah
Then you got those nerdy guys who all had to get rich
To have any luck with the chicks with those little dicks! eww
Gates, Bezos and Zuck and that Father Fucking Musk
All sat at the loser table together at lunch
Mad plotting against the world openly wishing me dead
So all the good things I had they could have instead
A quarter century later it's all crumbling down
Now they rule the world they're making leaving town
Yeah, but I'm not on my own
There's a few of us who
(3) me
---
(3)
PERFECT
Eyes are watching but they don't see me
While all the tragic people long to be me
Don't know why that is
Don't wanna play into the hysteria
That's why I always try to break free
Believing there's another way to live
Than what they're telling ya...
Am I among the few?
Many would have you believe so
What does your neighbor say?
Why don't you go knock on his door?
Alas, he moved real far away long ago
Set out searching though he declined to define
What he'd be looking for...
Just said he'd know it when he sees it
In his bestest version of broken English
Funny how I've grown to understand it
And even come to speak it
You say screw it
I'll just do it
Doesn't have to be the perfect plan
Start by doing
Gets things moving
If you wanna get into the
Or outtava jam!
You just say screw it...
I'll just do it!
For there ain't no perfect plan, man...
For there ain't no perfect plan, woman...
For there ain't no perfect plan,
My child...
---
(3)
TONY'S SONG
I said weasel, let's talk
About our favorite three letters
(USA)
As free men, we walk
But only if they let us
(yeah, yeah)
Down the road we go
Knowing well some of us won't return...
(no)
Yeah, another thing we know
We've been watching this slow, slow burn...
(slow)
We're burning, burning, watching our dreams go up in flames,
Looking for a reason not to treason, but the reason never came.
Caught between the future and the mess we're in today
Trying to get in, get out, trying to get it before it gets away...
The fire keeps getting hotter
But now I got a daughter
It's up to me to teach her what she learns
Yeah, I've got to find a way to cope
When I know I'm losing hope
And I'm gonna hit that point of no re[?]
I finally watched The Sopranos
Two decades after it aired
Whatever happened to Keanu Reeves?
That kinda guy has all but disappeared...
I've got a troubled mind
During these troubled times
Yeah, you say you're one in a million -
And I say there's over eight-thousand of your kind!
We're burning, burning, watching our dreams go up in flames,
Looking for a reason not to treason, but the reason never came.
Caught between the future and the mess we're in today
Trying to get in, get out, maybe be heard when we got
something to say...
Trying to get in, get out, trying to get it before it gets away...
Trying to get in, get out, trying to get it before it gets away...
Trying to get in , get out, trying to____________
Trying to get in, get out, trying to____________
additional lyrics maybe:
My Great Godfather always wanted to die early
Just so he said he would look good at the wake
He's ninety-eight and counting....
Doctor says he's doing great
I'm gonna steal everything
That you let me take
---
(1)
DIDDY MOCUMENTARY PARODY
Voiceover: According to the 50 Cent doc,
Diddy hired 8 lawyers at his trial for multiple
millions of dollars...
We right here?
We gonna defend him for FREE!!!
Diddy had great taste in clothes, and bows and hoes - fa sho!
And maybe he had a darker side the public didn't know
But hey, any man can kill a rap god or two -
But to get off Dred Scott free with all that blood on your
shoes!!!
That's something only a true pro can do...
Benjamin Netanyahu...
I'm lookin' at you!
And you too, Georgie Bush Two!
It was Cassie, not P, who gave you that STD
So classy is she, to not disclose....
Well she'll be spend that Diddy money
When she's being deposed, exposed,
You know these hoes!!! Can't keep their legs closed....
---
(4)
I'm gonna lick your clit
and twist your tits
and then come in your ass
so we don't have no kids.
Now you're gonna fit me
like a broken-in glove
straight in your rectum
are going all of the above:
My left testicle and tongue
And my penis head, chin and thumb
Followed by my big toe.
And what comes next?
Oh, wouldn't you like to know!!!!
It could be over fast.
It could be over quick.
It could make you smile
or be some sadistic shit.
---
(1)
KILL THE SEED
Don't go in the ocean
Don't you dare try to fly in the sky
There are sharks beneath the dark water
Above fucking glowing drones that fly
There's bugs in all our devices
And roaches in the pot, yes
Messages that are subliminal
Are now entering our heads!
A death sentence is now thirty paragraphs
We all signed but didn't read
Technology is bringing us backwards
Save the chaff and kill the seed
A crazy man wanting to to Mars
When I just want to go to California
---
(4)
RECKLESS GIRLS
Nailing girls who are reckless.
Something always on my checklist, yeah.
I'll come you a whole pearl necklace.
I'll come you a whore pearl necklace.
I'll come you a whole pearl necklace.
I'll come you a whore pearl necklace!
Fuck them sluts and cucks!
Fuck them sluts and cucks!
Fuck them sluts and cucks!
I taught your wife jujitsu... Who knew?
I taught your wife jujitsu.
Who knew, who knew?
I taught you wife Jujitsu, who knew?
When chasing after her
[?] holding my broom,
[?] she get out
---
ALBUM THIRTY TWO 32
THIRTY TWO (32) - Full Tracklist
CURRENT
Key To Be Free (5)
Reckless Girls (15)
Diddy Mockumentary Parody (12)
Groove Back II (8)
Tony's Song (3)
Love and My Hand (16)
Kill the Seed (4)
My Fan Fiction (10)
Me and Tom Cruise (14)
Wallflower Poop (17)
Lick My Toes Ho (13)
When You're Hammered (19)
Closure / Aftermath (9)
Daylight Savings (11)
Stars and Strangers (2)
Act Fasting (7)
Perfect (6)
Another Epic Poem (1)
RIP Charlie (18)
ALBUM 34
BI RIDE OR DIE
1. You're a Whore, Mrs. Robinson
2. Why I Like Sex
3. Four Pills a Day
4. Like an Angel
5. Three-Month Girl (Melanie [private detail])
6. Risk Genes
7. Slinging Lines
8. Chick Fillet
9. Draining Balls
10. I M Bi Ride
11. Thinking Gets Risky
12. Browser History
13. Grindr Diaries
14. Alex Jones in a Rabbit Hole
15. I've Been Slappin
16. Reading I Blow (Rainbow)
ACT FASTING
Buridan's Ass...
Buridan's Ass...
I know I've become
Lately I've been fee
I look both ways
And still here I'm
With all this ope
And all these th
And yet no clea
Buridan's Ass
Buridan's Ass
He died rig
Left his bo
Buridan's
Buridan'
When
Somet
is just
MY FAN FICTION
She was more than a world away
Yet this dream
SONG THREE
FOUR PILLS A DAY
Who's your favorite band?
Tommy and the Trans.
Who got a lot of fans?
Tommy and the Trans.
Tommy and the Trans....
Tommy and the Trans....
Tommy and the Trans....
---
Sometimes it may be
Oh, for a little while...
I haven't turned the radio on
Since the day you were gone
I'm afraid they'll play our song....
SONG ONE
YOU'RE A WHORE, MRS. R
(in the style of the DOORS)
I know your secret..
You're a dirty little slut!
And I know your weakness
A finger in the butt!
I know your history
As a girl you shouldn't trust
God, it's a mystery
Why we turn our back on love
Nothing could be finer
Than a thumb in her vagina...
In the morning
SONG FIVE BI
THREE-MONTH GIRL (
When you stick your dick
That very first time
It leaves you thinking may
Everything will be fine...
Yeah, I'm sorry for what s
Got the bitch on video
Giving ya chlamydia
She was a three-month gir
in a hundred year old worl
and I told this, she got
When I told her this,
she got so pissed
I thought she was gonna h
From three-month girl
---- hundred vear world
SONG FOUR
LIKE AN ANG
I'll take Caitlin c
And Angel on m
Take off your ur
Trunk dunk, spli
SONG SIX
RISK GENES
I got that bad seed in my blood
Don't have kids because they'd be fucked up....
With risk genes running
up and down the whole family tree
I'm not only fighting my environment
I'm fighting me...
Fighting history
Fighting insanity
It's no mystery
What a calamity
I only got one friend
not gone or dead
I only got perverted thoughts
inside my head
Because of my fears
I'm still here
Yeah, check back
in another year
I take bus stop candy
from strange old men
I like to visit the sauna
every now and again
Glory holes....
well glory be
Twinks, trans and hung
My chosen trinity, Yeah!!!
Who am I?
I'm a shell of my former self
All because I can't control myself
I got things I can't live without
I used to have heroes...
Who have either died...
or otherwise moved on
I used to have heroes...
But those days...
of having heroes are gone
With risk genes running up and down the whole family tree
I'm not only fighting my environment - I'm fighting me
Fighting history, fighting insanity
I only got one friend not gone or dead
I only got perverted thoughts inside my head
Because of my fears I'm still here
Yeah, check back in another year
When you stick your dick in crazy...
That very first time
It leaves you thinking maybe...
Everything will be fine...
---
SONG 10
I M BI RIDE
I'm bi ride or die
I'm bi ride or die
I'm bi ride or die
I'll suck the dick
I'll lick the clit
I'll do some fucking crazy shit
I'll squeeze them tits
I'll spread those cheeks
I'll do it days
I'll do it weeks
Oh yeah, spread those cheeks
I'll squeeze those tits
I'll drain those balls
swallow your kids
I got some gray eyebrows
I shave everything else
I fuck girls, suck guys
While you play with yourself
If there's a set of tits I'll find something to do
I might fist your sister while I'm sucking the goo
Keep trying to break my record four loads in a day
Tied it five times but could not break
I'm bi, ride or die.
I'm bi, ride.
Bi, ride or die.
I'll suck the dick,
I'll lick the clit,
I'll do some fucking crazy shit.
I'll squeeze them tits,
I'll spread those cheeks,
I'll do it days,
I'll do it weeks.
Oh, yeah, spread those cheeks,
I'll squeeze those tits,
I'll drain those balls,
Swallow all the kids.
I got some gray on my eyebrows,
Shave everything else.
I fuck girls, suck guys,
You're home playing with yourself.
If there's a set of tits, I'll find something to do.
I might fist your sister, one hand or two.
Keep trying to break my record, four loads in a day.
Tied it five times, but could not break.
I've had four threesomes,
that's like fucking twelve.
You still, still sit at home
playing with yourself.
---
WALLFLOWER POOP
Gonna take a poop in the night...
Hope it's gonna flush right
Doesn't matter who clogged the bowl
You got a wide asshole
Tried to free it up...
But now the plunger's stuck
Yeah, now you really fucked up!
But now its doesn't matter who did what
Amidst this... now toxic flood!
One, two, three swipes... a poop knife
Shit drips splattered 'neath the seat
Somebody gonna have to clean up
You hope nobody sees you make your great escape
Oh FUCK SHIT it's too late!
Try to come up with a story they can understand
When you notice your hand....
Looks like ya forgot to wipe!
This night didn't go as you had planned.
(6)
---
(5)
GROOVE BACK II
I don't wanna know about my heroes...
The same way I don't wanna know if my doctor drinks
Being who you are has gotten you this far
But you've stalled and hit a wall
My guy... what are you doing to yourself?
Didn't you used to be someone else?
I'm trying to get my groove back
(Groove back)
And prove that
(Prove that)
The haters were wrong
I'm trying to write a new refrain
where I show restraint
and not lose from where I came
you know
same old shit, same old song!
---
(1)
ANOTHER EPIC POEM
As the cameras flashed
Somehow I held everything back
Oh, how I was so ready to snap
Yet so caught up in the moment
I knew I could not show it
So I made it seem like I cherished it
As on the inside I'd lie
and try to hide
All of my rough, jagged edges
and my innermost blemishes
While on the outside I'd smile,
Shake hands and high five
The people as they filed
Up and down now
They're crowding around
both sides of the aisle
This was before your time
This was before your time
This was before your time
Back when you didn't know me
Back when I barely knew myself
This was before your time
This was before your time
This was before your time
Back when I was searching for
Safety in seclusion far away from someone else
But when I heard the magic of your words
As you sang I actually praised the lord!
And those of you who know me would all agree
That's my own personal version of blasphemy...
Why did I believe in you?
Was it because I knew
You'd come to believe in me, too...
Eventually...
Or was it because
before you came around
I found I was spiritually empty...
I was oh so empty...
Then suddenly, you appeared.. dear
And here was this well
Ahh.. Refreshing as hell
Just then your voice rang out
As clear as a bell,
"Drink up, drink up...
For we have more...
Yes, there's plenty!"
Since that day
I have NEVER lost my faith
My faith in me...
My faith in you...
My faith in our ability to adapt or escape...
To either leave or lead this human race!
---
ALBUM 33 ZIONATION
✓ DEFINITELY FULL PIECES (from the uploaded files)
Clearly complete songs (lyrics stand on their own)
BRIBE THE POOR, BLACKMAIL THE RICH
CATCH A STRAY (Song 67)
A MUSLIM AND A JEW (Don't Shoot)
NOBLE PLACE HATE (Song 17)
ONE STEP HIGHER (Song 14)
SUN, MOON AND TRUTH (Song 32)
These are unambiguous keeps. No qualifiers.
✓ FULL PIECES INSIDE THE "ASSORTED" FILE
Even though that file mixes fragments and songs, several entries are complete works, not sketches:
BURIED TREASURE
UNBENDABLE SOLDIERS
FAIRYTALES
KEEPING COOL
EANIE MEANIE
BEFORE NOAH
PLANKTON
From individual files (definitive):
Bribe the Poor, Blackmail the Rich
Catch a Stray
A Muslim and a Jew (Don't Shoot)
Noble Place Hate
One Step Higher
Sun, Moon and Truth
Point My Finger
From "Assorted Zion Nation Album Lyrics" file - confirmed complete songs:
8. Buried Treasure
9. Unbendable Soldiers
10. Fairytales
11. Keeping Cool
12. Eanie Meanie
13. Before Noah
14. Plankton
Kayfabe
---
SONG SEVEN
SLINGING LINES
I put it in and then pulled it out...
First it was her ass and then it was her mouth
Then I slipped it in the only hole she had left
With the grip, zip, tip, dip, then I fled, yeah
I screamed out what the fuck is this?
No, I never signed up for no question mark kids!
I said damn you hit every branch on the fugly tree
Now get the fuck away from me!
I was born with the safety off
That's how I think, that's how I act
That's how I fuck, that's how I walk...
If you can read this
Then the bitch fell off
Says the back of the shirt
As I ride my hog!
---
(8)
WHEN YOU'RE HAMMERED
Can I have my car keys, please?
I wanna go hit some trees...
'Cause I'm hammered!
One text or call
could ruin it all...
When you're hammered!
Yeah, that fine, fine sister
Turns out to be a mister...
When you're hammered!
You were too busy eating
To notice you were bleeding...
'Cause you were hammered!
You just HAD to touch her chest
But that's a felony arrest...
Because you were hammered!
You just peed your pants warm
Like a tropical storm...
Yeah, you were hammered!
In jail you spent the night
When that cop you wanted to fight...
'Cause you were hammered!
Your girlfriend slapped you in the face
The two of you got sprayed with mace...
Because you were both hammered!
If my life was a movie
I'd have died up on that silver screen
I swear I'm the luckiest man alive
Let me tell you son, what I've seen
---
ME AND TOM CRUISE
Bitch don't even know my first name
Still gave her the dick quick just the same
There's a few guys who get to fuck anyone that they choose:
Like Denzel, Collin Jost, Brad Pitt, Me and Tom Cruise, yeah
Then you got those nerdy guys who all had to get rich
To have any luck with the chicks with those little dicks! eww
Gates, Bezos and Zuck and that Father Fucking Musk
All sat at the loser table together at lunch
Mad plotting against the world openly wishing me dead
So all the good things I had they could have instead
A quarter century later it's all crumbling down
Now they rule the world they're making leaving town
Yeah, but I'm not on my own
There's a few of us who
(3) me
---
(3)
PERFECT
Eyes are watching but they don't see me
While all the tragic people long to be me
Don't know why that is
Don't wanna play into the hysteria
That's why I always try to break free
Believing there's another way to live
Than what they're telling ya...
Am I among the few?
Many would have you believe so
What does your neighbor say?
Why don't you go knock on his door?
Alas, he moved real far away long ago
Set out searching though he declined to define
What he'd be looking for...
Just said he'd know it when he sees it
In his bestest version of broken English
Funny how I've grown to understand it
And even come to speak it
You say screw it
I'll just do it
Doesn't have to be the perfect plan
Start by doing
Gets things moving
If you wanna get into the
Or outtava jam!
You just say screw it...
I'll just do it!
For there ain't no perfect plan, man...
For there ain't no perfect plan, woman...
For there ain't no perfect plan,
My child...
---
(3)
TONY'S SONG
I said weasel, let's talk
About our favorite three letters
(USA)
As free men, we walk
But only if they let us
(yeah, yeah)
Down the road we go
Knowing well some of us won't return...
(no)
Yeah, another thing we know
We've been watching this slow, slow burn...
(slow)
We're burning, burning, watching our dreams go up in flames,
Looking for a reason not to treason, but the reason never came.
Caught between the future and the mess we're in today
Trying to get in, get out, trying to get it before it gets away...
The fire keeps getting hotter
But now I got a daughter
It's up to me to teach her what she learns
Yeah, I've got to find a way to cope
When I know I'm losing hope
And I'm gonna hit that point of no re[?]
I finally watched The Sopranos
Two decades after it aired
Whatever happened to Keanu Reeves?
That kinda guy has all but disappeared...
I've got a troubled mind
During these troubled times
Yeah, you say you're one in a million -
And I say there's over eight-thousand of your kind!
We're burning, burning, watching our dreams go up in flames,
Looking for a reason not to treason, but the reason never came.
Caught between the future and the mess we're in today
Trying to get in, get out, maybe be heard when we got
something to say...
Trying to get in, get out, trying to get it before it gets away...
Trying to get in, get out, trying to get it before it gets away...
Trying to get in , get out, trying to____________
Trying to get in, get out, trying to____________
additional lyrics maybe:
My Great Godfather always wanted to die early
Just so he said he would look good at the wake
He's ninety-eight and counting....
Doctor says he's doing great
I'm gonna steal everything
That you let me take
---
(1)
DIDDY MOCUMENTARY PARODY
Voiceover: According to the 50 Cent doc,
Diddy hired 8 lawyers at his trial for multiple
millions of dollars...
We right here?
We gonna defend him for FREE!!!
Diddy had great taste in clothes, and bows and hoes - fa sho!
And maybe he had a darker side the public didn't know
But hey, any man can kill a rap god or two -
But to get off Dred Scott free with all that blood on your
shoes!!!
That's something only a true pro can do...
Benjamin Netanyahu...
I'm lookin' at you!
And you too, Georgie Bush Two!
It was Cassie, not P, who gave you that STD
So classy is she, to not disclose....
Well she'll be spend that Diddy money
When she's being deposed, exposed,
You know these hoes!!! Can't keep their legs closed....
---
(4)
I'm gonna lick your clit
and twist your tits
and then come in your ass
so we don't have no kids.
Now you're gonna fit me
like a broken-in glove
straight in your rectum
are going all of the above:
My left testicle and tongue
And my penis head, chin and thumb
Followed by my big toe.
And what comes next?
Oh, wouldn't you like to know!!!!
It could be over fast.
It could be over quick.
It could make you smile
or be some sadistic shit.
---
(1)
KILL THE SEED
Don't go in the ocean
Don't you dare try to fly in the sky
There are sharks beneath the dark water
Above fucking glowing drones that fly
There's bugs in all our devices
And roaches in the pot, yes
Messages that are subliminal
Are now entering our heads!
A death sentence is now thirty paragraphs
We all signed but didn't read
Technology is bringing us backwards
Save the chaff and kill the seed
A crazy man wanting to to Mars
When I just want to go to California
---
(4)
RECKLESS GIRLS
Nailing girls who are reckless.
Something always on my checklist, yeah.
I'll come you a whole pearl necklace.
I'll come you a whore pearl necklace.
I'll come you a whole pearl necklace.
I'll come you a whore pearl necklace!
Fuck them sluts and cucks!
Fuck them sluts and cucks!
Fuck them sluts and cucks!
I taught your wife jujitsu... Who knew?
I taught your wife jujitsu.
Who knew, who knew?
I taught you wife Jujitsu, who knew?
When chasing after her
[?] holding my broom,
[?] she get out
---
ALBUM THIRTY TWO 32
THIRTY TWO (32) - Full Tracklist
CURRENT
Key To Be Free (5)
Reckless Girls (15)
Diddy Mockumentary Parody (12)
Groove Back II (8)
Tony's Song (3)
Love and My Hand (16)
Kill the Seed (4)
My Fan Fiction (10)
Me and Tom Cruise (14)
Wallflower Poop (17)
Lick My Toes Ho (13)
When You're Hammered (19)
Closure / Aftermath (9)
Daylight Savings (11)
Stars and Strangers (2)
Act Fasting (7)
Perfect (6)
Another Epic Poem (1)
RIP Charlie (18)
Item 2011
BI RIDE OR DIE RIDE SET LIST 24
In one sentence: Clipped printed pages of set list 24 from Tom's 34 Albums, with its titles and full lyrics; adult content, rated X, written by 2024.
Item type
POEM · IN 34 ALBUMS · FULL LYRICS
PUBLISHED · POEM · FULL
Clipped printed pages of Tom's set list 24, BI RIDE OR DIE RIDE, with its 16 titles and full lyrics - comic and adult songs such as Reading I Blow (Rainbow), I've Been Slappin', Risk Genes and Chick Fillet - from the 34 Albums books.
- Why it matters
- Clipped printed pages of Tom's set list 24, BI RIDE OR DIE RIDE, with its 16 titles and full lyrics - comic and adult songs such as Reading I Blow (Rainbow), Risk Genes and Chick Fillet - from the 34 Albums books.
- Type
- Printed page
- Collection
- 34 Albums: Set list 24 - BI RIDE OR DIE RIDE ; Set list 24 ; The November 2024 Collection (2024) ; 34 Albums, Books 1 and 2 (2026) ; Funny ; Adult
- Published in
- IN 34 ALBUMS
IN A BOOKThe November 2024 Collection (2024)
34 Albums, Books 1 and 2 (2026) - Age when written
- about 2024-2026 (age 45 to 47)best guess - not yet proved: its words match the set lists and song files from the 34 Albums years
- On the site
- Tom's Story: 2024
Price · Tier · Tom fills these
Picture 1 of 4
Picture 2 of 4
Picture 3 of 4
Picture 4 of 4
The words on this page
BI RIDE OR DIE RIDE
SET LIST 24
1. Reading I Blow (Rainbow)
2. Slinging Lines
3. Alex Jones in a Rabbit Hole
4. Four Pills a Day
5. Draining Balls
6. Grindr Diaries
7. I've Been Slappin'
8. I M Bi Ride
9. Like an Angel
10. Three-Month Girl (Melanie [private detail])
11. You're a Whore, Mrs. Robinson
12. Risk Genes
13. Thinking Gets Risky
14. Chick Fillet
15. Why I Like Sex
16. Browser History
SONG 1
READING I BLOW (RAINBOW)
I'm having a bisexual party,
I want everybody to come.
I think I might be bi...
I'm gonna go blow a guy...
Maybe three or even four
Look at me, I'm such a whore!
I will suck almost anyone...
Curved or straight
Small or hung
Both taste great!
Sooo much fun!
Black and brown I go right down
Yellow or white I won't bite!
Pants are down but dicks are up
When I'm in town y'all erupt
SONG 2
I'VE BEEN SLAPPIN
I've been slappin' crackers.
I've been blowin' actors.
I've been mappin' the city.
I've been feelin' pretty shitty.
I've been... I've been havin' the time of my life.
But I've been payin' the price.
I ain't thought once, I sure didn't think twice.
Ever since the day I first kissed a girl
I've been chucking lots of clams
Collecting up pearls
Diving deep for clams
Ever since the day I first kissed a girl
I've been diving deep for clams
And chucking out the pearls yeah
Forgetting who I am
And my place in my place
In this world
Ain't about no silly laugh
or wearing black
Something, something, something
Can't be taken back
Cum in my mouth if you'll love me forever...
Cum in my eye if you won't!
Cum in my pussy if you want a family...
Cum in my ass if you don't!
---
There's no more faking
When you're so close to breaking.
Revealed what has been latent
When the final action's taken.
Revenge often tastes sweetest
When there's blood lust in your eyes, yeah.
The jury, we don't need them,
No, I won't be doing time, No!
A slug to the dome starts the show,
You smile wide when the blood flows.
You look to your left, there's victim number two,
Just pissed herself, she didn't know what to do...
It should be a crime
To be that fine,
It leaves a brother sighing
Looking at that big behind...
I make you horny.
Bregoli nearly every morning.
hout a warning.
s.
that, we'll live with it.
house died,
ing my hands around her waist
ut me coming on her face and shit.
Alyssa Milano?
a Kunis
e job girl from The Sopranos.
out.
oubt myself.
won't get help
doubt myself...
pout myself...
quit myself...
shit myself...
ch out.
doubt myself.
I won't get help
et help...
d live in hell
---
I've felled thousands of trees
In the name of poetry
And dead will be one thousand more...
When I get through telling about you.....
You're an uncle-fucking whore!
Melanie [private detail]....
And Melanie [private detail]...
Asks you to bring a few friends
So that you can run a train!
---
SONG 14
CHICK FILLET
Well I fingered your mom at a Chick Fillet
And I blew your dad after turning him gay
It took me ten years but it was worth my time
When I took the V-card from his behind!
I fucked your mom, your dad, your boyfriend too!
I'll fuck everyone you love just to fuck over you!
Won't you have a guess who's next on my list?
Will it be grandpa or grandma -
Who'll get a big wet kiss?
I'll teach your dog how to do new tricks
Then we'll both treat you like a bitch
Me and your dog will get real tight
Guess who's sleepin' in the dog house tonight?
SET LIST 24
1. Reading I Blow (Rainbow)
2. Slinging Lines
3. Alex Jones in a Rabbit Hole
4. Four Pills a Day
5. Draining Balls
6. Grindr Diaries
7. I've Been Slappin'
8. I M Bi Ride
9. Like an Angel
10. Three-Month Girl (Melanie [private detail])
11. You're a Whore, Mrs. Robinson
12. Risk Genes
13. Thinking Gets Risky
14. Chick Fillet
15. Why I Like Sex
16. Browser History
SONG 1
READING I BLOW (RAINBOW)
I'm having a bisexual party,
I want everybody to come.
I think I might be bi...
I'm gonna go blow a guy...
Maybe three or even four
Look at me, I'm such a whore!
I will suck almost anyone...
Curved or straight
Small or hung
Both taste great!
Sooo much fun!
Black and brown I go right down
Yellow or white I won't bite!
Pants are down but dicks are up
When I'm in town y'all erupt
SONG 2
I'VE BEEN SLAPPIN
I've been slappin' crackers.
I've been blowin' actors.
I've been mappin' the city.
I've been feelin' pretty shitty.
I've been... I've been havin' the time of my life.
But I've been payin' the price.
I ain't thought once, I sure didn't think twice.
Ever since the day I first kissed a girl
I've been chucking lots of clams
Collecting up pearls
Diving deep for clams
Ever since the day I first kissed a girl
I've been diving deep for clams
And chucking out the pearls yeah
Forgetting who I am
And my place in my place
In this world
Ain't about no silly laugh
or wearing black
Something, something, something
Can't be taken back
Cum in my mouth if you'll love me forever...
Cum in my eye if you won't!
Cum in my pussy if you want a family...
Cum in my ass if you don't!
---
There's no more faking
When you're so close to breaking.
Revealed what has been latent
When the final action's taken.
Revenge often tastes sweetest
When there's blood lust in your eyes, yeah.
The jury, we don't need them,
No, I won't be doing time, No!
A slug to the dome starts the show,
You smile wide when the blood flows.
You look to your left, there's victim number two,
Just pissed herself, she didn't know what to do...
It should be a crime
To be that fine,
It leaves a brother sighing
Looking at that big behind...
I make you horny.
Bregoli nearly every morning.
hout a warning.
s.
that, we'll live with it.
house died,
ing my hands around her waist
ut me coming on her face and shit.
Alyssa Milano?
a Kunis
e job girl from The Sopranos.
out.
oubt myself.
won't get help
doubt myself...
pout myself...
quit myself...
shit myself...
ch out.
doubt myself.
I won't get help
et help...
d live in hell
---
I've felled thousands of trees
In the name of poetry
And dead will be one thousand more...
When I get through telling about you.....
You're an uncle-fucking whore!
Melanie [private detail]....
And Melanie [private detail]...
Asks you to bring a few friends
So that you can run a train!
---
SONG 14
CHICK FILLET
Well I fingered your mom at a Chick Fillet
And I blew your dad after turning him gay
It took me ten years but it was worth my time
When I took the V-card from his behind!
I fucked your mom, your dad, your boyfriend too!
I'll fuck everyone you love just to fuck over you!
Won't you have a guess who's next on my list?
Will it be grandpa or grandma -
Who'll get a big wet kiss?
I'll teach your dog how to do new tricks
Then we'll both treat you like a bitch
Me and your dog will get real tight
Guess who's sleepin' in the dog house tonight?
RATED X · POEMS IN THE 34 ALBUMS · HALF
Item 96
Michael Hawk might look a little strange to you
In one sentence: An adult piece, rated X: a few handwritten lines on a small torn spiral-notebook scrap, part of a song in Tom's 34 Albums, written by 2011.
Item type
POEM · IN 34 ALBUMS · HALF LYRICS
PUBLISHED · POEM · HALF
Tom's handwritten lines about Michael Hawk ("might look a little strange to you / Because his head is purple"), on a small torn spiral-notebook scrap.
- Why it matters
- Tom's lines about Michael Hawk ("might look a little strange to you / Because his head is purple") on a small torn notebook scrap - a poem in his 34 Albums.draft - not yet proved
- Type
- Handwritten sheet
- Collection
- 34 Albums (song list not given) ; Funny ; Be Different ; Naturedraft - not yet provedthe old category list says: DEPRESSING (not checked by Tom)
- Published in
- IN 34 ALBUMSset list 5 · track 3 · as the song MEET MICHAEL HAWK
IN A BOOKTom's Anthology, September 18, 2011
Brian Rainstorm: Poetry Not Dead (2014)
Only The Best (2018)
Tom Jensen Lyrics (2019)
A Lifetime Of Rhyme (2020)
The November 2024 Collection (2024)
Revised 31 Albums With Index (2024)
34 Albums, Books 1 and 2 (2026) - Age when written
- written by age 33 at the latest for MICHAEL HAWK; the 'I could live for you' lines: written at age 18 to 23 (card 788, yellow binder line I11), by age 29 at the latest proved (Poems By Tom, December 11, 2007)best guess
- Same words
- also written out as number 788matched on the words by machine - Tom confirms
- On the site
- Set List 5 (track 3) · Set List 5: Living A La Mode, all-in-one page · Tom's Story: 2011
Price · Tier · Tom fills these
The only picture of this piece
The words on this page
Michael HAWK might look a
little strange to you
Because his head is purple,
his belly is white and
sometimes his feet are blue
---
I could live for you
I would die for you
But I'll cry for you
If you want me to
With the angel that lives inside you
No man could ever deny you
For what I have come to understand
Is that you hold my world inside your hands
Listen closely wait for it here comes
the plot twist
your only real fear are these global
terrorists
they'll add my name to their
list when they
hear this
The spreading of information oh yeah
they fear this
One card one chip one voice tells you
what to do
One false step, one wrong move - they'll be after
you
Another candle Another year
365 more days that have disappeared
There is no surprise party as far
as I can see
And yet tradition is tradition
So I'll sing happy birthday to me
Since it will probably never come true
I'm going to tell you my wish
12 months from now
I long for a soul to share this day with
I've got a new method
to my madness
And simply stated
I've decided my life's
too complicated
---
FROM A DISTANCE
Every day thousands of people
can be seen here walking Downtown
They pass the pizza parlor, gaze out
upon the harbor, there's so many
sights and sounds
Some are smiling like young children
while others are looking at the ground
still more stand with hands in pockets
at the soap boxed man thinking get off it
I see a man searching for someone, for anyone
Yet as for me I'm searching for one specific
face in the crowd
I thought
10 From a distance I saw someone that
that looked like you
10 As I tried to quell these anxious feelings
I realized it was the sitoette of a stranger
The sun is quite revealing
little strange to you
Because his head is purple,
his belly is white and
sometimes his feet are blue
---
I could live for you
I would die for you
But I'll cry for you
If you want me to
With the angel that lives inside you
No man could ever deny you
For what I have come to understand
Is that you hold my world inside your hands
Listen closely wait for it here comes
the plot twist
your only real fear are these global
terrorists
they'll add my name to their
list when they
hear this
The spreading of information oh yeah
they fear this
One card one chip one voice tells you
what to do
One false step, one wrong move - they'll be after
you
Another candle Another year
365 more days that have disappeared
There is no surprise party as far
as I can see
And yet tradition is tradition
So I'll sing happy birthday to me
Since it will probably never come true
I'm going to tell you my wish
12 months from now
I long for a soul to share this day with
I've got a new method
to my madness
And simply stated
I've decided my life's
too complicated
---
FROM A DISTANCE
Every day thousands of people
can be seen here walking Downtown
They pass the pizza parlor, gaze out
upon the harbor, there's so many
sights and sounds
Some are smiling like young children
while others are looking at the ground
still more stand with hands in pockets
at the soap boxed man thinking get off it
I see a man searching for someone, for anyone
Yet as for me I'm searching for one specific
face in the crowd
I thought
10 From a distance I saw someone that
that looked like you
10 As I tried to quell these anxious feelings
I realized it was the sitoette of a stranger
The sun is quite revealing
RATED X · POEMS IN THE 34 ALBUMS · SHORT
Item 1629
I know your secret...
In one sentence: A long taped column of Tom's printed lyric slips from the 34 Albums with handwritten notes in red and black; adult content, rated X, written by 2011.
Item type
POEM · IN 34 ALBUMS · SHORTER LYRICS
PUBLISHED · POEM · SHORT
Tom's long taped column of printed lyric slips, led by the bawdy I KNOW YOUR SECRET... written in the style of the Doors, together with WHY I LIKE SEX, THE PRIEST BY THE SEA and dozens more such as SHE SAID YOU CAN, SONAR, MISSING A TOOTH, MYSTERY LYRICS and BUM BUM SONG, many numbered and marked with his handwritten notes in red and black; from the 34 Albums and published in The November 2024 Collection (2024).
- Why it matters
- Tom's taped column of printed lyric strips, led by I Know Your Secret written in the style of the Doors, with Why I Like Sex, The Priest By The Sea and dozens more marked up by hand - his adult songs from the 34 Albums as he cut, sorted and combined them; published in The November 2024 Collection (2024).
- Type
- Typed lyric sheet
- Collection
- 34 Albums ; The November 2024 Collection (2024) ; 34 Albums, Books 1 and 2 (2026) ; Sexy / dirty lyrics ; Funny ; Lyric strips
- Published in
- IN 34 ALBUMS
IN A BOOKThe November 2024 Collection (2024)
34 Albums, Books 1 and 2 (2026) - Age when written
- written by age 33 at the latestproved: its words are in Tom's Anthology, September 18, 2011 (Laima dedication) - the sheet itself may be older
- On the site
- Tom's Story: 2011
Price · Tier · Tom fills these
Picture 1 of 16
Picture 2 of 16
Picture 3 of 16
Picture 4 of 16
Picture 5 of 16
Picture 6 of 16
Picture 7 of 16
Picture 8 of 16
Picture 9 of 16
Picture 10 of 16
Picture 11 of 16
Picture 12 of 16
Picture 13 of 16
Picture 14 of 16
Picture 15 of 16
The words on this page
(in the style of the DOORS)
I know your secret...
You're a dirty little slut!
And I know your weakness
A finger in the butt!
I know your history
As a girl you shouldn't trust
God, it's a mystery
Why we turn our back on love for lust
Nothing could be finer
Than a thumb in her vagina...
In the morning
The last thing she was expecting
Was my tougue inside her rectum...
Without warning
I love the way she giggles...
When I put it in the middle...
And give it a little wiggle...
[handwritten under the slip:] I Love Her Jugs
the way they Jiggle!
---
(287)
She was slutty but willing
My buddy asked are you still in
While I was debating she leaned in close
And put her finger strait up my nose
She said said if you want to get me back
Take off your clothes
I'll let you choose
Two out of the three of my holes...
---
WHORE MRS. ROBINSON (49, two of eight)
You're a whore Mrs. Robinson,
Only God knows where that pussy's been,
In, in, in... in, in, in.
[in red: 13]
---
(220, six of eight)
She took the cock down her throat
And the coke up her nose.
There's no need to say more
She's just one of them hoes, yeah.
---
(241, eight of eight)
She's getting sloshed and tossed like a salad
from a local homosexual club, yeah.
She's so damn twisted like getting
Two-hole-fisted
By her friends the paraplegics
Who each plunge their stump and their nub.
---
MISSING A TOOTH AND (19, one of eight)
missing a tooth and hitting a vape
that's the kind of girls i usually date
six tattoos and one screw loose
Always fighting back because the[y] love the abuse
---
MYSTERY LYRICS SHE (30, one of eight)
MYSTERY LYRICS
She said come and visit
bring a friend or two
i live on the corner
of oral and anal avenue
come and visit
Bring a friend or three
Help me clean
Because I'm so dirty
---
361)
I love to watch you eat
When you're sucking it so deep
As soon as my balls are off your chin
I want to put them back on again
It doesn't matter how long ago I cummed
I get hard again when I lick your bum
When you lick my bum
When we lick bums
---
BUM BUM SONG (68, two of eight)
Bum bum bum bum bum
Bum bum bum bums
Who stick my big thick dick and tongue
and thumb and bum bum
bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bums
Bum bum bum bum bum
Bum bum bum bum bums
Bum bum bum bums
I like to stick my big thick dick
and thumb and thumb and bum bum bum bums
To stick my big thick dick
and thumb and tongue and bum bum bum bums
---
(318)
When I saw your mother naked
Well I wanted you even more...
Orgasms, you've never faked them...
You're [struck: fifteen percent, handwritten under it: such a fucking] whore!
---
WHY I LIKE SEX (192, six of eight)
I asked my psychiatrist why I like sex so much.
He said when I was younger,
I might have been touched.
---
THE PRIEST BY THE SEA (53, two of eight)
In my weathered town
Down by the sea
Lived the man who molested me
And he told me of his life
Of being a Catholic priest.
[in red: 14 molested song?]
---
(199, six of eight)
Sometimes the first one you see
is the only one you need, yeah.
She been giving head
since she was twelve years old.
Back of the school bus
Driver driving down the road, yeah.
By fourteen, she was the best in town.
Guys lining up from miles and miles around, yeah.
[in red: add 204]
---
(204, six of eight)
I groomed her to be my bride
When they asked how old she was, I lied.
[in red: add 199]
---
SHE SAID YOU CAN (35, one of eight)
she said you can eat my ass
i laughed I already had
ask her dad
he caught me in the act
when she was bad
passed out drunk
with the trunk hood up.
I had a lick
I couldn't resist.
Here comes dad,
oh boy was he mad.
He grabbed the axe.
He didn't laugh
So out I run
And I never looked back
[in red: 12 Add more!]
---
(519)
SONAR
I've been saving all these raisins
Since they were little graaaaaaaaaapes...
Hey, hey, hey
Tiny minnows took their last dive
At least they know they gave their lives
Knowing they died to serve a porpoise
But holy mackerel
This fin is just for fun
This apparatus is for love
My flippers get their kicks
When our sonar clicks
That's my treat from my bag of tricks
What's the haul? The catch of the day?
Alright now...is it a sure bet...is she in the net?
Let's just get it out of the waaaaaaaaaaay
---
GRINDR DIARIES (78, two of eight)
Every time I go on grindin'
I get a piece of tail,
Halfway through the rail.
I got shit on my dick,
I got shit on my dick,
I got shit on my dick,
I got shit on my dick.
It's when I find a fine hind and I sit down to eat,
I spy something funky growing and I gotta leave.
That's worse than shit on my dick,
Worse than shit on my dick,
That's much worse than shit on my dick,
Oh, that's worse than shit on my dick.
The Grindr Diaries-
It's a story about not messing around.
You have an experience with an 18-year-old and you're old
and you feel bad about it,
So you say, "Okay, never again."
And then you say, "Oh, but 19-year-olds are okay."
That's the Grindr Diaries, that would be the song, the third
song.
I'm at the Morning Glory Bed and Breakfast,
I think it's on Harding Street.
It'll start-
I got shit on my dick, I got shit on my dick.
Just when I find a fine hind and I sit down to eat,
I see something funky growing and I gotta leave.
That's worse than shit on my dick, worse than shit on my
dick,
That's much worse than shit on my dick, oh that's worse than
shit on my dick.
[in red: 3]
---
SONG NUMBER 12
RISK GENES
I got that bad seed in my blood
Don't have kids because they'd be fucked up...
With risk genes running
up and down the whole family tree
I'm not only fighting my environment
I'm fighting me...
Fighting history
Fighting insanity
It's no mystery
What a calamity
I only got one friend
not gone or dead
I only got perverted thoughts
inside my head
Because of my fears
I'm still here
Yeah, check back
in another year
I take bus stop candy
from strange old men
I like to visit the sauna
every now and again
Glory holes....
well glory be
Twinks, trans and hung
My chosen trinity, Yeah!!!
[in red: 5]
---
(292)
I put it in and then pulled it out...
First if was her ass and then it was her mouth
Then I slipped it in the only hole she had left
With the grip, tip, zip, dip then I fled, yeah
I screamed out what the fuck is this?
No, I never signed up for no question mark kids!
I said damn you hit every branch on the fugly tree
Now get the fuck away from me!
I was born with the safety off
That's how I think, that's how I act
That's how I fuck, that's how I walk...
[in red: 10]
---
(357)
If you can read this
Then the bitch fell off
Says the back of the shirt
As I ride my hog!
[in red: 15 Add more]
---
(193, six of eight)
I got one in the pink and two in the stink
Took off my ring, washed my dick in the sink
Gave her a wink as I told her my kinks...
And I'm ready to get sweaty with Betty.
Don't give a fuck what that cuck Barney thinks, no.
Got one in the pink and two in the stink
And I'm ready to get sweaty with Betty.
Don't give a damn what Barney thinks, no.
---
WELL LET S START (36, one of eight)
Well, let's start with my browser history will make you horny.
I jack it off to Danielle Bregoli nearly every morning.
If I catch you outside, you'll get the dick without a warning.
I need that ass and tits.
What happens after that, we'll live with it.
When Amy Whitehouse died, I needed a replacement.
I really like them tits.
She can sing about me coming on her face and shit.
Who's my boss, Alyssa Milano?
Yeah, that nose job girl from The Sopranos.
I won't reach out.
I'll sit and doubt myself.
I won't... I won't get help
I'll sit and doubt myself...
I'll sit and pout myself...
I'll sit and quit myself...
I'll sit and shit myself...
I won't reach out.
I'll sit and doubt myself.
I won't... I won't get help
I won't get help...
I'll sit and live in hell
There's no more faking
when you're so close to breaking.
Revealed what has been latent
when the final action's taken.
Revenge often tastes sweetest
when there's bloodlust in your eyes, yeah.
The jury, we don't need them,
no, I won't be doing time, yeah.
A slug of the dome starts the show,
you smile wide when the blood flows.
You look to your left, there's victim two,
just pissed herself, she didn't know what to do.
It should be a crime
to be that fine,
it leaves a brother's sign,
looking at that big behind
[in red: 13.]
---
205
Who am I?
I'm a shell of my former self
All because I can't control myself
I got things I can't live without
I used to have heroes...
Who have either died...
or otherwise moved on
I used to have heroes...
But those days...
of having heroes are gone
With risk genes running up and down the whole family tree
I'm not only fighting my environment - I'm fighting me
Fighting history, fighting insanity
I only got one friend not gone or dead
I only got perverted thoughts inside my head
Because of my fears I'm still here
Yeah, check back in another year
When you stick your dick in crazy...
That very first time
It leaves you thinking maybe...
Everything will be fine...
Sometimes it may be
Oh, for a little while...
I haven't turned the radio on
Since the day you were gone
I'm afraid they'll play our song....
[in red: combine with 5.]
---
655 (8 of 30)
SLINGING LINES
I walked in, lit up my smoke
Had a sip of Jack and Coke
To catch a pretty girl's eye
You know I ain't afraid to lie
I'm well known for slinging lines
to the women with the big behinds
No, I don't have to hear the truth
so long as it gets me close to you
By the time you find that it's a fib
I'll have my hands around your hips
And by the time you start to get mad
I'll tell you that you weren't half bad
And now that we've played Adam and Eve
God told me it's time to leave
[in red: 16.]
---
CHICK FILLET
Well I fingered your mom at a Chick Fillet
And I blew your dad after turning him gay
It took me ten years but it was worth my time
When I took the V-card from his behind!
I fucked your mom, your dad, your boyfriend too!
I'll fuck everyone you love just to fuck over you!
Won't you have a guess who's next on my list?
[unclear - the rest of this slip is outside every photo]
[in red: 9]
---
I M BI RIDE (42, one of eight)
i'm bi ride or die
i'm bi ride or die
[unclear - the rest of this sheet is outside every photo]
[in red: 4, cut off at the photo edge]
---
(240, six of eight)
I'll take Caitlin on the court
And Angel on my bed,
Take off your uniform
dunk,
Splish splash on my head.
I stuffed my stiff staff in her big ass so fast,
Gave me whiplash.
---
I STUFFED MY STIFF (26, one of eight)
I stuffed my stiff staff in her big ass so fast, gave me
whiplash.
I stuffed my stiff staff in her big ass so fast, gave us, gave us
both whiplash.
I stuffed my stiff staff in her big old ass so fast, gave us both
whiplash.
[handwritten in blue: combine w/ 240 (6 of 8) Caitlin Angel]
---
I VE BEEN SLAPPIN (23, one of eight)
I've been slappin' crackers.
I've been blowin' actors.
I've been mappin' the city.
I've been feelin' pretty shitty.
I've been... I've been havin' the time of my life.
But I've been payin' the price.
I ain't thought once. I sure didn't think twice.
ever since the day i first kissed a girl
i've been chucking lots of clams
collecting up pearls
diving deep for clams
ever since the day i first kissed a girl
i've been diving deep for clams
and chucking out the pearls yeah
forgetting who i am
And my place in my place
in this world
ain't about no silly laugh
or wearing black something something something
can't be taken back
something okay
come in my mouth if you love me forever
come in my eye if you won't
come in my pussy if you want a family
Come in my ass if you don't
[in red: 2]
---
SONG NUMBER 10
READING I BLOW
I think I might be bi...
I'm gonna go blow a guy...
Maybe three or even four
Look at me, I'm such a whore!
I will suck... almost anyone
[struck in red: Old or young], small or hung
Curved or straight both taste great!
Black and brown I go right down
yellow or white I won't bite!
Pants are down dicks are up
When I'm in town ya'll erupt
[in red: 1.]
---
(228, six of eight)
I'm having a bisexual party,
I want everybody to come.
[in red: First !!!]
---
SHE S GOT THE (18, one of eight)
she's got the back [handwritten: , the black!]
she stacked
got a face i like an angel
she's got the rack
She's racked
[handwritten: Love How they dangle!]
---
(236, six of eight)
You plump dumpling,
I'm gonna break you in half.
You plump dumpling,
I'm gonna break you in half.
You know the last time the drugs were laced,
You had a big stupid smile all up in your face.
[struck: Peace.]
[handwritten in the margin: whats horny all over and white pink and black? us in the sack!]
---
(237, six of eight)
I'm gonna squeeze the titties tonight
And break off a chunk of funk
And make you feel alright.
Diddy got caught
but they never got Jay-Z.
Kanye and Kyrie on a race,
To going crazy.
---
I FOUND ALEX JONES (37, one of eight)
I found Alex Jones in a rabbit hole,
and I said hello my friend,
something, something, something,
and it's happening again, oh, yeah.
We're lying here in the gutter,
both looking at each other.
I take more than I give,
but I ain't no hypocrite, yeah.
I don't take anybody's shit,
but y'all gotta learn to live with it, yeah.
I take more than I give,
but I ain't no hypocrite, yeah.
I don't take anybody's shit,
but y'all gotta learn to live with it, yeah.
I take more than I give,
but I ain't no hypocrite, yeah.
I tell you I don't care what color your skin,
I don't give a damn what club you're in, no.
I take more than I give,
but I ain't no hypocrite, yeah.
I tell you I don't care what color your skin,
I don't give a damn, no.
I break for blue-haired lesbians,
I break for Antifa trans
I break for guys who got a big dick,
I know just who I am!
[in red: 6]
---
(290)
When you stick your dick in crazy...
That very first time
It leaves you thinking maybe...
Everything will be fine...
---
231
Yeah, I'm sorry for what she did to ya
Got the bitch on video
Giving ya chlamydia
---
(244, eight of eight)
She was a three-month girl
in a hundred year old world
and I told her this, she got angry, yeah.
When I told her this,
she got so pissed
I thought she was gonna hang me, yeah.
From a three-month girl
in our hundred year world,
You have saved me.
I swore last time
I'd never again
stick my dick in crazy, no.
I got my balls out of the vice
and I'm not going back twice,
I'll never stick my dick again in crazy, no.
---
MELANIE [private detail] (762, 13 of 30)
When I was young, my momma told me
Not to trust anything that bleeds for a week and lives
I'm old enough to call you an angel
But smart enough to [struck: call] know you're a slut
I'm too tired to guess your angle
It's time to play, I'm glad enough
I'm pickin' my cards up off the table
Yeah, you finally called your bluff
I earned myself in a fast car
With an even faster girl
Going around and around
And that bitch loves nuts like she's a squirrel
I scored a home run with Jill on the pill on a hill
And I'm thinking about fucking your ass, bitch
And working my do-naked gymnastics
Maybe even hitting your sister
To come over to play naked strip-twister
I've felled thousands of trees
In the name of poetry
And dead will be one thousand more
When I get through telling about your uncle-fucking whore!
Melanie [private detail]
And Melanie wants you to bring a few friends
So that you can run a train!
[in red: 18.]
---
[unclear - the top of this slip is outside every photo] with the Prep
Called doxypep!
Take two of these and after this
Reduce the risk of syphilis,
chlamydia and gonorrhea
Cause I don't know where that cum dump been
And you don't NEITHER!!!!
---
BI ALBUM
album thirty-four
[in red: 1 maybe start]
---
WHO S YOUR FAVORITE BAND (7, one of eight)
Who's your favorite band?
Tommy and the Trans.
Who got a lot of fans?
Tommy and the Trans.
Tommy and the Trans....
Tommy and the Trans...
Tommy and the Trans...
Tommy and the Trans...
[in red: 1 Sgt. pepper?]
---
SONG 68
SECRETLY STRAIGHT
I'm secretly straight
But I pretend to be gay
To fit in...
You want to know more
But I'm not really sure
Where to begin...
(Oh sorry, wrong show....)
[in red: 2]
---
IN THIS ORGY IN (33, one of eight)
In this orgy in the dark,
there's no telling who I'm screwing.
But let go of my ears,
I know what the hell I'm doing.
I like holes more than faces.
I like dicks more than first names.
Turn out all the lights
so we don't feel ashamed.
And that's alright with everyone who came.
[in red: 3]
---
FOUR PILLS A DAY
I take four pills a day
Because I'm a slut... yeah!
One of those pill[unclear - the rest of this slip is outside every photo]
---
SONG NUMBER 4
THINKING GETS RISKY
I'm quadrupling my chances on this friday night...
I've decided to fuck any and every thing in sight
Be it woman or man, boy or girl,
Someone's getting this nut like a muthafuckin'squirrel!
That's why I don't drink
'Cause my thinking gets risky
Give me the pink AND the stink
When I'm drinking my whiskey!
If there's grass on the field
Well, I'm willing to play ball
And if you're looking to kneel
You know I'm down for it ALL!
Call up your whore friend who you said likes to puts out
I'll fuck her fat ass while your dick's in my mouth!
We can each take turns and then all switch places
Get honey and cream all over our faces!
That's why I don't drink
'Cause my thinking gets risky
When I get all liqured up
Yeah, start feeling frisky
Round homeless people up
Start drinking their pee
While the one with one with the stump
Gives a good peggin to me!
Yeah, pass me the bottle
And then pass me around
I've met lots of nice friends
In the meth part of town!
That's why I don't drink
'Cause my thinking gets risky
I'll spit on a hot girl cop
Just to get a free frisky
My friends try to tell me
Seems I never listen
Just seem to end up
With another FWB from the prison...
[in red: 7]
---
[unclear - about six more slips at the top right of the spread, among them the one Tom marked 8 in red, show only in the wide shot and cannot be read; the slips carrying his red 11 and 17 were not found in any close-up]
I know your secret...
You're a dirty little slut!
And I know your weakness
A finger in the butt!
I know your history
As a girl you shouldn't trust
God, it's a mystery
Why we turn our back on love for lust
Nothing could be finer
Than a thumb in her vagina...
In the morning
The last thing she was expecting
Was my tougue inside her rectum...
Without warning
I love the way she giggles...
When I put it in the middle...
And give it a little wiggle...
[handwritten under the slip:] I Love Her Jugs
the way they Jiggle!
---
(287)
She was slutty but willing
My buddy asked are you still in
While I was debating she leaned in close
And put her finger strait up my nose
She said said if you want to get me back
Take off your clothes
I'll let you choose
Two out of the three of my holes...
---
WHORE MRS. ROBINSON (49, two of eight)
You're a whore Mrs. Robinson,
Only God knows where that pussy's been,
In, in, in... in, in, in.
[in red: 13]
---
(220, six of eight)
She took the cock down her throat
And the coke up her nose.
There's no need to say more
She's just one of them hoes, yeah.
---
(241, eight of eight)
She's getting sloshed and tossed like a salad
from a local homosexual club, yeah.
She's so damn twisted like getting
Two-hole-fisted
By her friends the paraplegics
Who each plunge their stump and their nub.
---
MISSING A TOOTH AND (19, one of eight)
missing a tooth and hitting a vape
that's the kind of girls i usually date
six tattoos and one screw loose
Always fighting back because the[y] love the abuse
---
MYSTERY LYRICS SHE (30, one of eight)
MYSTERY LYRICS
She said come and visit
bring a friend or two
i live on the corner
of oral and anal avenue
come and visit
Bring a friend or three
Help me clean
Because I'm so dirty
---
361)
I love to watch you eat
When you're sucking it so deep
As soon as my balls are off your chin
I want to put them back on again
It doesn't matter how long ago I cummed
I get hard again when I lick your bum
When you lick my bum
When we lick bums
---
BUM BUM SONG (68, two of eight)
Bum bum bum bum bum
Bum bum bum bums
Who stick my big thick dick and tongue
and thumb and bum bum
bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bums
Bum bum bum bum bum
Bum bum bum bum bums
Bum bum bum bums
I like to stick my big thick dick
and thumb and thumb and bum bum bum bums
To stick my big thick dick
and thumb and tongue and bum bum bum bums
---
(318)
When I saw your mother naked
Well I wanted you even more...
Orgasms, you've never faked them...
You're [struck: fifteen percent, handwritten under it: such a fucking] whore!
---
WHY I LIKE SEX (192, six of eight)
I asked my psychiatrist why I like sex so much.
He said when I was younger,
I might have been touched.
---
THE PRIEST BY THE SEA (53, two of eight)
In my weathered town
Down by the sea
Lived the man who molested me
And he told me of his life
Of being a Catholic priest.
[in red: 14 molested song?]
---
(199, six of eight)
Sometimes the first one you see
is the only one you need, yeah.
She been giving head
since she was twelve years old.
Back of the school bus
Driver driving down the road, yeah.
By fourteen, she was the best in town.
Guys lining up from miles and miles around, yeah.
[in red: add 204]
---
(204, six of eight)
I groomed her to be my bride
When they asked how old she was, I lied.
[in red: add 199]
---
SHE SAID YOU CAN (35, one of eight)
she said you can eat my ass
i laughed I already had
ask her dad
he caught me in the act
when she was bad
passed out drunk
with the trunk hood up.
I had a lick
I couldn't resist.
Here comes dad,
oh boy was he mad.
He grabbed the axe.
He didn't laugh
So out I run
And I never looked back
[in red: 12 Add more!]
---
(519)
SONAR
I've been saving all these raisins
Since they were little graaaaaaaaaapes...
Hey, hey, hey
Tiny minnows took their last dive
At least they know they gave their lives
Knowing they died to serve a porpoise
But holy mackerel
This fin is just for fun
This apparatus is for love
My flippers get their kicks
When our sonar clicks
That's my treat from my bag of tricks
What's the haul? The catch of the day?
Alright now...is it a sure bet...is she in the net?
Let's just get it out of the waaaaaaaaaaay
---
GRINDR DIARIES (78, two of eight)
Every time I go on grindin'
I get a piece of tail,
Halfway through the rail.
I got shit on my dick,
I got shit on my dick,
I got shit on my dick,
I got shit on my dick.
It's when I find a fine hind and I sit down to eat,
I spy something funky growing and I gotta leave.
That's worse than shit on my dick,
Worse than shit on my dick,
That's much worse than shit on my dick,
Oh, that's worse than shit on my dick.
The Grindr Diaries-
It's a story about not messing around.
You have an experience with an 18-year-old and you're old
and you feel bad about it,
So you say, "Okay, never again."
And then you say, "Oh, but 19-year-olds are okay."
That's the Grindr Diaries, that would be the song, the third
song.
I'm at the Morning Glory Bed and Breakfast,
I think it's on Harding Street.
It'll start-
I got shit on my dick, I got shit on my dick.
Just when I find a fine hind and I sit down to eat,
I see something funky growing and I gotta leave.
That's worse than shit on my dick, worse than shit on my
dick,
That's much worse than shit on my dick, oh that's worse than
shit on my dick.
[in red: 3]
---
SONG NUMBER 12
RISK GENES
I got that bad seed in my blood
Don't have kids because they'd be fucked up...
With risk genes running
up and down the whole family tree
I'm not only fighting my environment
I'm fighting me...
Fighting history
Fighting insanity
It's no mystery
What a calamity
I only got one friend
not gone or dead
I only got perverted thoughts
inside my head
Because of my fears
I'm still here
Yeah, check back
in another year
I take bus stop candy
from strange old men
I like to visit the sauna
every now and again
Glory holes....
well glory be
Twinks, trans and hung
My chosen trinity, Yeah!!!
[in red: 5]
---
(292)
I put it in and then pulled it out...
First if was her ass and then it was her mouth
Then I slipped it in the only hole she had left
With the grip, tip, zip, dip then I fled, yeah
I screamed out what the fuck is this?
No, I never signed up for no question mark kids!
I said damn you hit every branch on the fugly tree
Now get the fuck away from me!
I was born with the safety off
That's how I think, that's how I act
That's how I fuck, that's how I walk...
[in red: 10]
---
(357)
If you can read this
Then the bitch fell off
Says the back of the shirt
As I ride my hog!
[in red: 15 Add more]
---
(193, six of eight)
I got one in the pink and two in the stink
Took off my ring, washed my dick in the sink
Gave her a wink as I told her my kinks...
And I'm ready to get sweaty with Betty.
Don't give a fuck what that cuck Barney thinks, no.
Got one in the pink and two in the stink
And I'm ready to get sweaty with Betty.
Don't give a damn what Barney thinks, no.
---
WELL LET S START (36, one of eight)
Well, let's start with my browser history will make you horny.
I jack it off to Danielle Bregoli nearly every morning.
If I catch you outside, you'll get the dick without a warning.
I need that ass and tits.
What happens after that, we'll live with it.
When Amy Whitehouse died, I needed a replacement.
I really like them tits.
She can sing about me coming on her face and shit.
Who's my boss, Alyssa Milano?
Yeah, that nose job girl from The Sopranos.
I won't reach out.
I'll sit and doubt myself.
I won't... I won't get help
I'll sit and doubt myself...
I'll sit and pout myself...
I'll sit and quit myself...
I'll sit and shit myself...
I won't reach out.
I'll sit and doubt myself.
I won't... I won't get help
I won't get help...
I'll sit and live in hell
There's no more faking
when you're so close to breaking.
Revealed what has been latent
when the final action's taken.
Revenge often tastes sweetest
when there's bloodlust in your eyes, yeah.
The jury, we don't need them,
no, I won't be doing time, yeah.
A slug of the dome starts the show,
you smile wide when the blood flows.
You look to your left, there's victim two,
just pissed herself, she didn't know what to do.
It should be a crime
to be that fine,
it leaves a brother's sign,
looking at that big behind
[in red: 13.]
---
205
Who am I?
I'm a shell of my former self
All because I can't control myself
I got things I can't live without
I used to have heroes...
Who have either died...
or otherwise moved on
I used to have heroes...
But those days...
of having heroes are gone
With risk genes running up and down the whole family tree
I'm not only fighting my environment - I'm fighting me
Fighting history, fighting insanity
I only got one friend not gone or dead
I only got perverted thoughts inside my head
Because of my fears I'm still here
Yeah, check back in another year
When you stick your dick in crazy...
That very first time
It leaves you thinking maybe...
Everything will be fine...
Sometimes it may be
Oh, for a little while...
I haven't turned the radio on
Since the day you were gone
I'm afraid they'll play our song....
[in red: combine with 5.]
---
655 (8 of 30)
SLINGING LINES
I walked in, lit up my smoke
Had a sip of Jack and Coke
To catch a pretty girl's eye
You know I ain't afraid to lie
I'm well known for slinging lines
to the women with the big behinds
No, I don't have to hear the truth
so long as it gets me close to you
By the time you find that it's a fib
I'll have my hands around your hips
And by the time you start to get mad
I'll tell you that you weren't half bad
And now that we've played Adam and Eve
God told me it's time to leave
[in red: 16.]
---
CHICK FILLET
Well I fingered your mom at a Chick Fillet
And I blew your dad after turning him gay
It took me ten years but it was worth my time
When I took the V-card from his behind!
I fucked your mom, your dad, your boyfriend too!
I'll fuck everyone you love just to fuck over you!
Won't you have a guess who's next on my list?
[unclear - the rest of this slip is outside every photo]
[in red: 9]
---
I M BI RIDE (42, one of eight)
i'm bi ride or die
i'm bi ride or die
[unclear - the rest of this sheet is outside every photo]
[in red: 4, cut off at the photo edge]
---
(240, six of eight)
I'll take Caitlin on the court
And Angel on my bed,
Take off your uniform
dunk,
Splish splash on my head.
I stuffed my stiff staff in her big ass so fast,
Gave me whiplash.
---
I STUFFED MY STIFF (26, one of eight)
I stuffed my stiff staff in her big ass so fast, gave me
whiplash.
I stuffed my stiff staff in her big ass so fast, gave us, gave us
both whiplash.
I stuffed my stiff staff in her big old ass so fast, gave us both
whiplash.
[handwritten in blue: combine w/ 240 (6 of 8) Caitlin Angel]
---
I VE BEEN SLAPPIN (23, one of eight)
I've been slappin' crackers.
I've been blowin' actors.
I've been mappin' the city.
I've been feelin' pretty shitty.
I've been... I've been havin' the time of my life.
But I've been payin' the price.
I ain't thought once. I sure didn't think twice.
ever since the day i first kissed a girl
i've been chucking lots of clams
collecting up pearls
diving deep for clams
ever since the day i first kissed a girl
i've been diving deep for clams
and chucking out the pearls yeah
forgetting who i am
And my place in my place
in this world
ain't about no silly laugh
or wearing black something something something
can't be taken back
something okay
come in my mouth if you love me forever
come in my eye if you won't
come in my pussy if you want a family
Come in my ass if you don't
[in red: 2]
---
SONG NUMBER 10
READING I BLOW
I think I might be bi...
I'm gonna go blow a guy...
Maybe three or even four
Look at me, I'm such a whore!
I will suck... almost anyone
[struck in red: Old or young], small or hung
Curved or straight both taste great!
Black and brown I go right down
yellow or white I won't bite!
Pants are down dicks are up
When I'm in town ya'll erupt
[in red: 1.]
---
(228, six of eight)
I'm having a bisexual party,
I want everybody to come.
[in red: First !!!]
---
SHE S GOT THE (18, one of eight)
she's got the back [handwritten: , the black!]
she stacked
got a face i like an angel
she's got the rack
She's racked
[handwritten: Love How they dangle!]
---
(236, six of eight)
You plump dumpling,
I'm gonna break you in half.
You plump dumpling,
I'm gonna break you in half.
You know the last time the drugs were laced,
You had a big stupid smile all up in your face.
[struck: Peace.]
[handwritten in the margin: whats horny all over and white pink and black? us in the sack!]
---
(237, six of eight)
I'm gonna squeeze the titties tonight
And break off a chunk of funk
And make you feel alright.
Diddy got caught
but they never got Jay-Z.
Kanye and Kyrie on a race,
To going crazy.
---
I FOUND ALEX JONES (37, one of eight)
I found Alex Jones in a rabbit hole,
and I said hello my friend,
something, something, something,
and it's happening again, oh, yeah.
We're lying here in the gutter,
both looking at each other.
I take more than I give,
but I ain't no hypocrite, yeah.
I don't take anybody's shit,
but y'all gotta learn to live with it, yeah.
I take more than I give,
but I ain't no hypocrite, yeah.
I don't take anybody's shit,
but y'all gotta learn to live with it, yeah.
I take more than I give,
but I ain't no hypocrite, yeah.
I tell you I don't care what color your skin,
I don't give a damn what club you're in, no.
I take more than I give,
but I ain't no hypocrite, yeah.
I tell you I don't care what color your skin,
I don't give a damn, no.
I break for blue-haired lesbians,
I break for Antifa trans
I break for guys who got a big dick,
I know just who I am!
[in red: 6]
---
(290)
When you stick your dick in crazy...
That very first time
It leaves you thinking maybe...
Everything will be fine...
---
231
Yeah, I'm sorry for what she did to ya
Got the bitch on video
Giving ya chlamydia
---
(244, eight of eight)
She was a three-month girl
in a hundred year old world
and I told her this, she got angry, yeah.
When I told her this,
she got so pissed
I thought she was gonna hang me, yeah.
From a three-month girl
in our hundred year world,
You have saved me.
I swore last time
I'd never again
stick my dick in crazy, no.
I got my balls out of the vice
and I'm not going back twice,
I'll never stick my dick again in crazy, no.
---
MELANIE [private detail] (762, 13 of 30)
When I was young, my momma told me
Not to trust anything that bleeds for a week and lives
I'm old enough to call you an angel
But smart enough to [struck: call] know you're a slut
I'm too tired to guess your angle
It's time to play, I'm glad enough
I'm pickin' my cards up off the table
Yeah, you finally called your bluff
I earned myself in a fast car
With an even faster girl
Going around and around
And that bitch loves nuts like she's a squirrel
I scored a home run with Jill on the pill on a hill
And I'm thinking about fucking your ass, bitch
And working my do-naked gymnastics
Maybe even hitting your sister
To come over to play naked strip-twister
I've felled thousands of trees
In the name of poetry
And dead will be one thousand more
When I get through telling about your uncle-fucking whore!
Melanie [private detail]
And Melanie wants you to bring a few friends
So that you can run a train!
[in red: 18.]
---
[unclear - the top of this slip is outside every photo] with the Prep
Called doxypep!
Take two of these and after this
Reduce the risk of syphilis,
chlamydia and gonorrhea
Cause I don't know where that cum dump been
And you don't NEITHER!!!!
---
BI ALBUM
album thirty-four
[in red: 1 maybe start]
---
WHO S YOUR FAVORITE BAND (7, one of eight)
Who's your favorite band?
Tommy and the Trans.
Who got a lot of fans?
Tommy and the Trans.
Tommy and the Trans....
Tommy and the Trans...
Tommy and the Trans...
Tommy and the Trans...
[in red: 1 Sgt. pepper?]
---
SONG 68
SECRETLY STRAIGHT
I'm secretly straight
But I pretend to be gay
To fit in...
You want to know more
But I'm not really sure
Where to begin...
(Oh sorry, wrong show....)
[in red: 2]
---
IN THIS ORGY IN (33, one of eight)
In this orgy in the dark,
there's no telling who I'm screwing.
But let go of my ears,
I know what the hell I'm doing.
I like holes more than faces.
I like dicks more than first names.
Turn out all the lights
so we don't feel ashamed.
And that's alright with everyone who came.
[in red: 3]
---
FOUR PILLS A DAY
I take four pills a day
Because I'm a slut... yeah!
One of those pill[unclear - the rest of this slip is outside every photo]
---
SONG NUMBER 4
THINKING GETS RISKY
I'm quadrupling my chances on this friday night...
I've decided to fuck any and every thing in sight
Be it woman or man, boy or girl,
Someone's getting this nut like a muthafuckin'squirrel!
That's why I don't drink
'Cause my thinking gets risky
Give me the pink AND the stink
When I'm drinking my whiskey!
If there's grass on the field
Well, I'm willing to play ball
And if you're looking to kneel
You know I'm down for it ALL!
Call up your whore friend who you said likes to puts out
I'll fuck her fat ass while your dick's in my mouth!
We can each take turns and then all switch places
Get honey and cream all over our faces!
That's why I don't drink
'Cause my thinking gets risky
When I get all liqured up
Yeah, start feeling frisky
Round homeless people up
Start drinking their pee
While the one with one with the stump
Gives a good peggin to me!
Yeah, pass me the bottle
And then pass me around
I've met lots of nice friends
In the meth part of town!
That's why I don't drink
'Cause my thinking gets risky
I'll spit on a hot girl cop
Just to get a free frisky
My friends try to tell me
Seems I never listen
Just seem to end up
With another FWB from the prison...
[in red: 7]
---
[unclear - about six more slips at the top right of the spread, among them the one Tom marked 8 in red, show only in the wide shot and cannot be read; the slips carrying his red 11 and 17 were not found in any close-up]
RATED X · POEMS NOT YET RELEASED · FULL
Item 1102
50 WAYS TO FUCK YOUR LOVER
In one sentence: A handwritten comic list poem in pencil and ink on three spiral-torn sheets; adult content, rated X, written by 2011.
Item type
POEM · IN 34 ALBUMS · FULL LYRICS
UNPUBLISHED · POEM · FULL
Tom's bawdy comic rhyming list poem 50 WAYS TO FUCK YOUR LOVER, handwritten in pencil and black ink on three spiral-torn sheets, each line rhyming an instruction with a man's first name.
- Why it matters
- Tom's bawdy comic rhyming list poem 50 Ways To Fuck Your Lover, each line rhyming an instruction with a man's first name, on three spiral-torn sheets.draft - not yet proved
- Type
- Handwritten sheet
- Collection
- Full poems ; Funny poems ; Humor ; Maturedraft - not yet proved
- Age when written
- written by age 33 at the latestproved: its words are in Tom's Anthology, September 18, 2011 (Laima dedication) - the sheet itself may be older
- On the site
- Tom's Story: 2011
Price · Tier · Tom fills these
No photograph on file yet
This piece is real - its picture has not been found
This piece is real - its picture has not been found
The words on this page
PAGE 1 (S1103):
50 WAYS TO FUCK YOUR LOVER
Put a bag over her head Ted
Make sure she's on the pill Bill
Just whip out your dick Nick
Ride her like a bike Mike
Do her doggy style Kyle
Hit her from the back Jack
Play with her like a toy Roy
Go and slip it in Vin
Give her a spank Frank
Stick it right between her lips Chip
Tell her to jump on John
How about sharing Aaron
Tell her right now gimmie Jimmy
Make sure there's no quifs Keith
Go dive in the gorge George
Give her your all Paul
You better make her moan Ramon
Drop the bomb Tom
Measure her by the meter Peter
Get it nice and sweaty Eddie
Look out for puss Russ
PAGE 2 (S1115):
Whip out the meat Pete
Give it a shave Dave
Grab her two knobs Bob
I wanna hear her squel Neil
Rub it on her hymen Simon
It's time for a cherry theft Jeff
Make sure it's bleeding Steven
Ask her to see the movie Free Willy Billy
Shoot a wad Rod
Try not to turn her gay Ray
Go get a blow Mo
Play home run derby with your bat Matt
Do her in the dark Mark
Watch out for the smell Mel
Make her black and blue Lou
Ask her to beg Greg
Time to play Adam and eve Steve
Lift up her skirt Kurt
Make her your Bitch Rich
Try for the fist Chris
Make sure it's clean Dean
PAGE 3 (S1127):
Don't be a dad Brad
Get her wet and hot Scott
Make her panties sticky Rickey
Never settle for a hug Doug
Go taste some candy Andy
Let her ride the bologny pony Tony
Unbutton her pants Lance
Just give her a good fuck Chuck
50 WAYS TO FUCK YOUR LOVER
Put a bag over her head Ted
Make sure she's on the pill Bill
Just whip out your dick Nick
Ride her like a bike Mike
Do her doggy style Kyle
Hit her from the back Jack
Play with her like a toy Roy
Go and slip it in Vin
Give her a spank Frank
Stick it right between her lips Chip
Tell her to jump on John
How about sharing Aaron
Tell her right now gimmie Jimmy
Make sure there's no quifs Keith
Go dive in the gorge George
Give her your all Paul
You better make her moan Ramon
Drop the bomb Tom
Measure her by the meter Peter
Get it nice and sweaty Eddie
Look out for puss Russ
PAGE 2 (S1115):
Whip out the meat Pete
Give it a shave Dave
Grab her two knobs Bob
I wanna hear her squel Neil
Rub it on her hymen Simon
It's time for a cherry theft Jeff
Make sure it's bleeding Steven
Ask her to see the movie Free Willy Billy
Shoot a wad Rod
Try not to turn her gay Ray
Go get a blow Mo
Play home run derby with your bat Matt
Do her in the dark Mark
Watch out for the smell Mel
Make her black and blue Lou
Ask her to beg Greg
Time to play Adam and eve Steve
Lift up her skirt Kurt
Make her your Bitch Rich
Try for the fist Chris
Make sure it's clean Dean
PAGE 3 (S1127):
Don't be a dad Brad
Get her wet and hot Scott
Make her panties sticky Rickey
Never settle for a hug Doug
Go taste some candy Andy
Let her ride the bologny pony Tony
Unbutton her pants Lance
Just give her a good fuck Chuck
RATED X · POEMS NOT YET RELEASED · HALF
Item 584
Pic Nic
In one sentence: An adult piece, rated X: an unpublished rhyming wordplay piece in blue pen on lined notebook paper with a note in the margin, about 1996-2012.
Item type
POEM · UNRELEASED · HALF LYRICS
UNPUBLISHED · POEM · HALF
Tom's previously unpublished handwritten rhyming wordplay piece PIC NIC by Tom Jensen, in blue pen on lined notebook paper with a note in the margin, a bawdy tongue-twister built on -ick rhymes.
- Why it matters
- Tom's original handwritten wordplay piece Pic Nic, signed by Tom Jensen, never published, a bawdy tongue-twister built on -ick rhymes that shows him playing with sound.
- Type
- Handwritten sheet
- Collection
- Previously unpublished poems ; Funny ; Wordplay ; Adult
- Published in
- PREVIOUSLY UNPUBLISHEDSearched against the 34 albums, every book and Poems By Tom - found in none of them
- Age when written
- written at about age 18 to 33 - an estimatenothing on this piece itself dates it; estimated from the pieces numbered next to it (item 582 and item 585), since Tom's pieces are bunched together by date - not proved
- On the site
- Tom's Story: 2004
Price · Tier · Tom fills these
The only picture of this piece
The words on this page
Pic Nic by Tom Jensen
I went to a picnic said to the thick chick [crossed out word]
[in the margin: I'll show you a trick] if you give it a quick lick pulled out my {struck: lipstick} dipstick
she made it a big dick with the flick of her
wrist she wanted to get sticked but it got
steck in her butt [crossed out word] when we fucked 'til
I busted a nut and then it loosened up
I saw the coast was clear
Like David Coppa Feel
I disappeared into thin air
and that was the magic trick right there
So she
sucked
I went to a picnic said to the thick chick [crossed out word]
[in the margin: I'll show you a trick] if you give it a quick lick pulled out my {struck: lipstick} dipstick
she made it a big dick with the flick of her
wrist she wanted to get sticked but it got
steck in her butt [crossed out word] when we fucked 'til
I busted a nut and then it loosened up
I saw the coast was clear
Like David Coppa Feel
I disappeared into thin air
and that was the magic trick right there
So she
sucked