Collabtunes · Memorabilia · For adults only
RATED NC-17
FOR ADULTS ONLY - RATED NC-17 - PAGE 2 OF 3
9 pieces on this page · every one an original · for adults only · dashed lines are yours to fill
RATED NC-17 · POEMS IN THE 34 ALBUMS · FULL
Item 75
Because of these lies
In one sentence: An adult piece, rated NC-17: a handwritten blue-ink lyric on two loose-leaf sheets from the early yellow binder, part of a song in Tom's 34 Albums, about 1996-2000.
Item type
POEM · IN 34 ALBUMS · FULL LYRICS
PUBLISHED · POEM · FULL
Tom's handwritten blue-ink lyric "My girlfriend's house, parents' home," about young love under disapproving parents, on two loose-leaf sheets - the second opening "Come for a ride" - the words of HURTING HER KNEES AND PRIDE (set list 21, track 7).
- Why it matters
- Tom's blue-ink lyric about young love under disapproving parents, on two sheets, from his early yellow binder - the words of HURTING HER KNEES AND PRIDE (list 21, track 7 of his 34 Albums), published in Poems By Tom (2007).
- Type
- Handwritten sheet
- Collection
- 34 Albums: Set list 21 (track 7) - HURTING HER KNEES AND PRIDE ; Yellow binder (early poems) ; Poems By Tom (2007) ; Only The Best (2018) ; 200 Poems Waiting For Music (2013) ; Love ; Familythe old category list says: LOVE (not checked by Tom)
- Published in
- IN 34 ALBUMSset list 21 · track 7 · as the song HURTING HER KNEES AND PRIDE
IN A BOOKPoems By Tom (2007)
200 Poems Waiting For Music (2013)
The November 2024 Collection (2024)
Tom Jensen Poem Anthology (2013)
Brian Rainstorm: Poetry Not Dead (2014)
180 Good Poems (2012)
Only The Best (2018)
A Lifetime Of Rhyme (2020)
Tom's Anthology, July 25, 2012
Tom's Anthology, September 18, 2011
34 Albums, Books 1 and 2 (2026)
Revised 31 Albums With Index (2024)
Tom Jensen Lyrics (2019) - Age when written
- written at age 18 to 23from its place in Tom's yellow binder index (line H2, a ranked list, not date order) - the binder held 481 poems by 5 April 2002, when Tom was 23
- On the site
- Set List 21 (track 7) · Set List 21: A Cold Plate, all-in-one page · Tom's Story: 1998
Price · Tier · Tom fills these
Picture 1 of 3
Picture 2 of 3
Picture 3 of 3
The words on this page
My Girlfriends house → Parents' home
They don't like me much → So we can't be alone
We're sitting on the sofa → she's lookin' fine
We've been dating so long → they know she's mine
They think she's pure → and she can wear white
(cut the first two blocks, from the first 'My Girlfriends house → Parents' home' through the first 'us to go'; keep the second copy)
I'm so sorry she didn't tell what's right
Like what she does when she spends the night
Because of these lies:
in the bushes we hide
Because of these lies:
We take the car for a ride
Because of these lies:
By your law she abides
They say what's unknown doesn't hurt you
And that the truth shall set you free
But if they only knew what I've taken
They'd take my girl away from me
Come for a ride and I'll take you away
Its finally our turn in the game we play
Yeah I'm feelin' good, I really got it tonight
Lets drive some where and turn out the light
Love has prices and love has its costs
I'll unbutton my shirt while you look out for the cops
Though she can't buy wine she can still buy smokes
Is she old enough for love? Don't ask her Folks
Old school valves and an old school style
Today I'd place em in an old school pile
Because of the old way:
They try to keep me away
Because of the old way:
They never let me stay
Because of the old way:
This game we play
Because of the old way:
They think we'll wait for our wedding day
When she's off at college they don't see me at all
and When she's home in the window I crawl
Better not get caught, I heard her dad's gotta gun
I smoke a pack a day - don't get far when I run
Too great the risk - I don't wanna get caught
I think its time for the parking lot
us to go
---
My Girlfriend's house → Parent's home
They don't like me much → So we can't be alone
We're sitting on the sofa → she's lookin' fine
We've been dating so long → they know she's mine
They think she's pure → and she can wear white
an innocent girl → a parent's delight
I'm so sorry she didn't tell you what's right
Like what she does when she spends the night
Because of these lies:
We make love outside
Because of these lies:
in the bushes we hide
Because of these lies:
We take the car for a ride
Because of these lies:
By your law she abides
They say whats unknown doesn't hurt you
And that the truth shall set you free
But if they only knew what I've taken
They'd take you away from me
This is our little secret so we'll play our cherrades
We'll keep singing our song 'til the music fades
---
Come for a ride and I'll take you away
Its finally our turn in the game we play
Yeah i'm feelin' good, I really got it tonight
Lets drive some where and turn out the light
Love has prices and love has its costs
I'll unbutton my shirt while you look out for the cops
Though she can't buy wine she can still buy smokes
Is she old enough for love? Don't ask her folks
Old school values and an old school pile
Today I'd place 'em in an old school style
Because of the old way:
They try to keep me away
Because of the old way:
They never let me stay
Because of the old way:
This game we play
Because of the old way
They think we'll wait for our wedding day
When she's off at college they don't see meat all
and when she's home in the window I crawl
Better not get caught, I heard the dad's gotta gun
I smoke a pack a day - don't get far when I run
Too great the risk - I don't wanna get caught
I think its time for us to go the parking lot
---
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
chorus
He loved her like I loved you
Only he would do what I couldn't do
Though she was far away she was in his heart
with love so strong the sea would part
He is the man to whom I kneel
They were the two who's fate was sealed
wedding rings, souls bound so tight
Nothings wrong when the love is right
The young lady, I knew her well
But some peoples' heaven is another's hell
They were the two with hearts so entwined
But I still remember the day she used to be mine
from jealousy and hatred I should be free
Yet I find myself thinking How'd she do this to me?
The day she left I knew she was right
So unexpected we didn't even fight
He is the man to whom I kneel
chorus
They were the two who's fate was sealed
wedding rings, souls bound so tight
They're in love so it must be right
I will recover, it'll take some time
If you'll be my lover then I'll be fine
I set out searching for love that true
If my eyes don't deceive me I've found it in you
Take a chance to set me free
Erase my bleeding memory
Don't let me think he is better than me
Bring out a part of me that I don't see
When you said yes that part of me died
Now I've got nothing but love inside
They don't like me much → So we can't be alone
We're sitting on the sofa → she's lookin' fine
We've been dating so long → they know she's mine
They think she's pure → and she can wear white
(cut the first two blocks, from the first 'My Girlfriends house → Parents' home' through the first 'us to go'; keep the second copy)
I'm so sorry she didn't tell what's right
Like what she does when she spends the night
Because of these lies:
in the bushes we hide
Because of these lies:
We take the car for a ride
Because of these lies:
By your law she abides
They say what's unknown doesn't hurt you
And that the truth shall set you free
But if they only knew what I've taken
They'd take my girl away from me
Come for a ride and I'll take you away
Its finally our turn in the game we play
Yeah I'm feelin' good, I really got it tonight
Lets drive some where and turn out the light
Love has prices and love has its costs
I'll unbutton my shirt while you look out for the cops
Though she can't buy wine she can still buy smokes
Is she old enough for love? Don't ask her Folks
Old school valves and an old school style
Today I'd place em in an old school pile
Because of the old way:
They try to keep me away
Because of the old way:
They never let me stay
Because of the old way:
This game we play
Because of the old way:
They think we'll wait for our wedding day
When she's off at college they don't see me at all
and When she's home in the window I crawl
Better not get caught, I heard her dad's gotta gun
I smoke a pack a day - don't get far when I run
Too great the risk - I don't wanna get caught
I think its time for the parking lot
us to go
---
My Girlfriend's house → Parent's home
They don't like me much → So we can't be alone
We're sitting on the sofa → she's lookin' fine
We've been dating so long → they know she's mine
They think she's pure → and she can wear white
an innocent girl → a parent's delight
I'm so sorry she didn't tell you what's right
Like what she does when she spends the night
Because of these lies:
We make love outside
Because of these lies:
in the bushes we hide
Because of these lies:
We take the car for a ride
Because of these lies:
By your law she abides
They say whats unknown doesn't hurt you
And that the truth shall set you free
But if they only knew what I've taken
They'd take you away from me
This is our little secret so we'll play our cherrades
We'll keep singing our song 'til the music fades
---
Come for a ride and I'll take you away
Its finally our turn in the game we play
Yeah i'm feelin' good, I really got it tonight
Lets drive some where and turn out the light
Love has prices and love has its costs
I'll unbutton my shirt while you look out for the cops
Though she can't buy wine she can still buy smokes
Is she old enough for love? Don't ask her folks
Old school values and an old school pile
Today I'd place 'em in an old school style
Because of the old way:
They try to keep me away
Because of the old way:
They never let me stay
Because of the old way:
This game we play
Because of the old way
They think we'll wait for our wedding day
When she's off at college they don't see meat all
and when she's home in the window I crawl
Better not get caught, I heard the dad's gotta gun
I smoke a pack a day - don't get far when I run
Too great the risk - I don't wanna get caught
I think its time for us to go the parking lot
---
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
chorus
He loved her like I loved you
Only he would do what I couldn't do
Though she was far away she was in his heart
with love so strong the sea would part
He is the man to whom I kneel
They were the two who's fate was sealed
wedding rings, souls bound so tight
Nothings wrong when the love is right
The young lady, I knew her well
But some peoples' heaven is another's hell
They were the two with hearts so entwined
But I still remember the day she used to be mine
from jealousy and hatred I should be free
Yet I find myself thinking How'd she do this to me?
The day she left I knew she was right
So unexpected we didn't even fight
He is the man to whom I kneel
chorus
They were the two who's fate was sealed
wedding rings, souls bound so tight
They're in love so it must be right
I will recover, it'll take some time
If you'll be my lover then I'll be fine
I set out searching for love that true
If my eyes don't deceive me I've found it in you
Take a chance to set me free
Erase my bleeding memory
Don't let me think he is better than me
Bring out a part of me that I don't see
When you said yes that part of me died
Now I've got nothing but love inside
Item 83
PERCHING ON POWER LINES
In one sentence: An adult piece, rated NC-17: a handwritten black-ink poem on a sheet, big outlined title at the bottom, from the early yellow binder, about 2000-2002.
Item type
POEM · UNRELEASED · FULL LYRICS
PUBLISHED · POEM · FULL
Tom's handwritten black-ink poem PERCHING ON POWER LINES, about a place with two houses for every tree where only the birds seem to notice, on a plain sheet above a big outlined title with a drawing of power lines at the bottom.
- Why it matters
- Tom's poem PERCHING ON POWER LINES, about a place with two houses for every tree where only the birds notice, with a drawn title and power lines, from his early yellow binder - published in Poems By Tom (2007).draft - not yet proved
- Type
- Handwritten sheet
- Collection
- Yellow binder (early poems) ; Poems By Tom (2007) ; Tom Jensen Poem Anthology (2013) ; Nature ; Societydraft - not yet provedthe old category list says: LOVE (not checked by Tom)
- Published in
- IN A BOOKPoems By Tom (2007)
Tom Jensen Poem Anthology (2013)
Tom's Anthology, July 25, 2012
Tom's Anthology, September 18, 2011 - Age when written
- written at age 18 to 23from its place in Tom's yellow binder index (line P11) - the binder held 481 poems by 5 April 2002, when Tom was 23
- On the site
- Tom's Story: 2001
Price · Tier · Tom fills these
The only picture of this piece
The words on this page
In the place I live there's two houses For every tree
And you know what?
It's starting to get the best of me
Still all the people seem fine
It's the birds that are the ones
Who just bide their time
While perching on powerlines
But I imagine they still sing out loud
While watching people in the crowd
As they're walking down the street
With blisters on their feet
From walking for miles on concrete
It's not a pretty scene
When it's a sure bet
That if you want to see an animal
Then you have to buy a pet
The only spot you can go fishing
Is in your neighbor's swimming pool
I suggest you bring a book
You can't change a world like this by wishing
If you think you can then you're a fool
I suggest you take a closer look
When Lincoln, Washington and Franklin
Are the only names that ring a bell
It's probably time for a change in the system
Before we blow everything to hell
PEARCHING ON POWER LINES
And you know what?
It's starting to get the best of me
Still all the people seem fine
It's the birds that are the ones
Who just bide their time
While perching on powerlines
But I imagine they still sing out loud
While watching people in the crowd
As they're walking down the street
With blisters on their feet
From walking for miles on concrete
It's not a pretty scene
When it's a sure bet
That if you want to see an animal
Then you have to buy a pet
The only spot you can go fishing
Is in your neighbor's swimming pool
I suggest you bring a book
You can't change a world like this by wishing
If you think you can then you're a fool
I suggest you take a closer look
When Lincoln, Washington and Franklin
Are the only names that ring a bell
It's probably time for a change in the system
Before we blow everything to hell
PEARCHING ON POWER LINES
Item 157
VENUS
In one sentence: An adult piece, rated NC-17: a handwritten story-lyric written across many loose-leaf pages, track 12 of set list 21 in Tom's 34 Albums, about 1996-2000.
Item type
POEM · IN 34 ALBUMS · FULL LYRICS
PUBLISHED · POEM · FULL
Tom's handwritten story-lyric VENUS (set list 21, track 12 of the 34 albums), following a girl raised in the Bronx to an HIV diagnosis, written across many loose-leaf pages, published in Poems By Tom (2007).
- Why it matters
- Tom's handwritten story-lyric VENUS (set list 21, track 12 of the 34 albums), a girl raised in the Bronx to an HIV diagnosis, written across many pages and first published in Poems By Tom (2007).
- Type
- Handwritten sheet
- Collection
- 34 Albums: VENUS (set list 21, track 12) ; Poems By Tom (2007) ; Only The Best (2018) ; A Lifetime Of Rhyme (2020) ; The November 2024 Collection (2024) ; Tom Jensen Poem Anthology (2013) ; Brian Rainstorm: Poetry Not Dead (2014) ; Tom Jensen Lyrics (2019) ; Revised 31 Albums With Index (2024) ; 34 Albums, Books 1 and 2 (2026) ; Tom's Anthology 2011 and 2012 ; Story songs ; Death ; Depressing ; Internal struggle ; Loneliness and solitude ; Temptationthe old category list says: DEATH ; DEPRESSING ; INTERNAL STRUGGLE ; LONELINESS & SOLITUDE ; TEMPTATION (not checked by Tom)
- Published in
- IN 34 ALBUMSset list 21 · track 12 · as the song VENUS
IN A BOOKPoems By Tom (2007)
The November 2024 Collection (2024)
Tom Jensen Poem Anthology (2013)
Brian Rainstorm: Poetry Not Dead (2014)
Only The Best (2018)
A Lifetime Of Rhyme (2020)
Tom's Anthology, July 25, 2012
Tom's Anthology, September 18, 2011
34 Albums, Books 1 and 2 (2026)
Revised 31 Albums With Index (2024)
Tom Jensen Lyrics (2019) - Age when written
- written at age 18 to 23in Tom's yellow binder index (line V4, 'Venus' - a ranked list, not date order) - the binder held 481 poems by 5 April 2002, when Tom was 23
- On the site
- Set List 21 (track 12) · Set List 21: A Cold Plate, all-in-one page · Tom's Story: 1998
Price · Tier · Tom fills these
Picture 1 of 10
Picture 2 of 10
Picture 3 of 10
Picture 4 of 10
Picture 5 of 10
Picture 6 of 10
Picture 7 of 10
Picture 8 of 10
Picture 9 of 10
Picture 10 of 10
The words on this page
The doctor said she had HIV / And there ain't no cure / Venus dropped her jaw
Item 166
Last Shot
In one sentence: An adult piece, rated NC-17: a handwritten lyric under a bubble-letter title with a hand-drawn basketball, on a lined sheet, written by 2011.
Item type
POEM · UNRELEASED · FULL LYRICS
PUBLISHED · POEM · FULL
Tom's handwritten lyric LAST SHOT, under a bubble-letter title with a hand-drawn basketball on a lined sheet.
- Why it matters
- Tom's handwritten lyric LAST SHOT, with a hand-drawn basketball.draft - not yet proved
- Type
- Handwritten sheet
- Collection
- Tom Jensen Poem Anthology (2013) ; Tom's Anthology 2011 and 2012 ; Love ; Writingdraft - not yet proved
- Published in
- IN A BOOKTom Jensen Poem Anthology (2013)
Tom's Anthology, July 25, 2012
Tom's Anthology, September 18, 2011 - Age when written
- written by age 33 at the latestproved: its words are in Tom's Anthology, September 18, 2011 (Laima dedication), as LAST SHOT - the sheet itself may be older
- On the site
- Tom's Story: 2011
Price · Tier · Tom fills these
The only picture of this piece
The words on this page
When I write for you it flows so pure,
I'm sick of disease and I've found a cure.
In my world of confusion I'm uncertain where to turn.
No matter what path I choose the other will burn.
I know what I have but what have I lost?
Love has its prices and love has its costs.
I live in the present but soon it could pass,
My feet can be cut if I shatter the glass.
I know what I have, yet I dream of more,
When life has you down you've got to settle the score.
Whenever I see you my body it shakes,
I promise I'll do anything, tell me what it takes.
Driving here sent shivers down my spine,
As I know what I have and what could be mine.
Life is a game and you give it all you got,
There's one second left as I take the last shot.
---
I set out on my own today
I left my watch at home today
My life I call my own today
Rules I make my own today
I can feel winter melting with every breath I
breathe
I met with old man winter and told him that he
should leave
I walked out through the door and left my jacket
home
Fifty-nine degrees disconnect the phone
I wouldn't stay in this house if you paid me
When it was too cold to leave the house it drove me
Crazy
Today I'm finally free
My religion is here and now
Only what I can see
Pray to the man who walks his dogs along
For I haven't seen him it's been so long
Pray to children playing in the park
For until now its been way too dark
I'm sick of disease and I've found a cure.
In my world of confusion I'm uncertain where to turn.
No matter what path I choose the other will burn.
I know what I have but what have I lost?
Love has its prices and love has its costs.
I live in the present but soon it could pass,
My feet can be cut if I shatter the glass.
I know what I have, yet I dream of more,
When life has you down you've got to settle the score.
Whenever I see you my body it shakes,
I promise I'll do anything, tell me what it takes.
Driving here sent shivers down my spine,
As I know what I have and what could be mine.
Life is a game and you give it all you got,
There's one second left as I take the last shot.
---
I set out on my own today
I left my watch at home today
My life I call my own today
Rules I make my own today
I can feel winter melting with every breath I
breathe
I met with old man winter and told him that he
should leave
I walked out through the door and left my jacket
home
Fifty-nine degrees disconnect the phone
I wouldn't stay in this house if you paid me
When it was too cold to leave the house it drove me
Crazy
Today I'm finally free
My religion is here and now
Only what I can see
Pray to the man who walks his dogs along
For I haven't seen him it's been so long
Pray to children playing in the park
For until now its been way too dark
Item 601
HEAVENLY
In one sentence: An adult piece, rated NC-17: a handwritten lyric on a long sheet taped together from sections, about 2012-2018.
Item type
POEM · UNRELEASED · FULL LYRICS
PUBLISHED · POEM · FULL
Tom's handwritten lyric HEAVENLY by Tom Jensen, on a long sheet taped together from sections, opening 'I have an agenda / Pamphlet of propaganda'.
- Why it matters
- Tom's original handwritten lyric Heavenly, signed by Tom Jensen on a long sheet taped together from sections, opening 'I have an agenda / Pamphlet of propaganda'.
- Type
- Handwritten sheet
- Collection
- Funny ; Relationships
- Age when written
- written at about age 34 to 39 - an estimatenothing on this piece itself dates it; estimated from the pieces numbered next to it (item 600 and item 603), since Tom's pieces are bunched together by date - not proved
- On the site
- Tom's Story: 2015
Price · Tier · Tom fills these
Picture 1 of 5
Picture 2 of 5
Picture 3 of 5
Picture 4 of 5
Picture 5 of 5
The words on this page
HEAVENLY
by Tom Jensen
I have an agenda
My Personal Pamplet of propaganda
to some It's a real mind bender [crossed out word] over
Why I'd [crossed out word] cure stupid [crossed out word] cancer
[crossed-out line]
If you've ever watched Jerry Springer
[crossed out word] then you [crossed out word] should have your answer
There's no way Miley Cyrus should be a singer
Though she can [crossed out: sing] be a dancer
climb my pole and
put down those toxins that keep making you ill
Pick up a hot stripper and her friend named Jill
Ask them what they'd do for a handful of bills
If the answer is you then go and get your fill
With this advice in mind
Let's have ourselves a good time
Well the speakers are blaring
As weaker men are swearing
While critiovers are [crossed out: staring] comparing
And meat seekers keep staring
Since only sneakers I'm wearing
'Cause streakers are daring
'Course those silly tweekers not caring
'Bout what their fellow Freakers are sharing
So with no fears and no flaws
She bowed to their applause
Up on the pedestal
That's where she was
Though she wasn't there for her gold medal
She was there for her bust
With those 36C's
Looking lovingly [crossed out word] back at me
my eyes teared up a little
I felt my knees get weak
I was thinking to myself
There's a motel [crossed out word] right [crossed out word] down the street
Hey babe, we could play KKK
Make the room get dark then hide beneath the sheets
I asked "wouldn't that be neat?"
And She said "sweet!"
I just couldn't wait
For our thighs to meet
And her legs to part
like I'm Moses in the Red Sea
Oh, oh no baby... how 'bout I call you next week
[in the margin, with an arrow: If you know what I mean (that shit be clean) ... when there's ah - no strings attached!]
---
HEAVENLY
by Tom Jense
I have an agenda
My Personal Pamplet of propaganda
to some It's a real mind bender over
Why I'd [crossed out] cure stupid [crossed out] cancer
If you've ever watched Jerry Springer
[crossed out] you [crossed out] should have your answer
There's no way Miley Cyrus should be a singer
Though she can [crossed out] be a dancer
climb my pole and
Put down those toxins that keep making you ill
Pick up a hot stripper and her friend named Jill
Ask them what they'd do for a handful of bills
If the answer is you then go and get your fill
With this advice in mind
ourselves
[crossed out] Let's have a good time
Well the speakers are blaring
As weaker men are swearing
While critiovers are [crossed out] comparing
And meat seekers keep staring
Since only sneakers I'm wearing
'cause sneakers are daring
---
be a dance
climb my pole and
Put down those toxins that keep making you ill
Pick up a hot stripper and her friend named Jil
Ask them what they'd do for a handful of bills
If the answer is you then go and get your fills
With this advice in mind
ourselves Let's have a good time
Well the speakers are blaring
As weaker men are swearing
While critiquers are [crossed out: dreaming] comparing
And meat seekers keep staring
Since only sneakers I'm wearing
'Cause streakers are daring
'Course those silly tweekers not caring
'Bout what their fellow Freakers are sharing
So with no fears and no flaws
She bowed to their applause
Up on the pedestal
That's where she was
Though she wasn't there for her gold medal
She was there for her bust
With those 36 C's
Looking lovingly [crossed out: right] back at me
My eyes teared up a little
I felt my knees get weak
I was thinking to myself
There's a motel [crossed out: right] down the street
Hey babe, we could play kkk
Make the room get dark then hide beneath the sheets
I asked "Wouldn't that be neat?"
And she said "sweet!"
I just couldn't wait
For our thoughts to meet
And her legs to part
Like I'm Moses [crossed out: in] the Red Sea /
If you know what I mean (that's it)
when there's no strings attached!
---
with this advice in mind
let's have a good time
you then go and get your fill
Well the speakers are blaring
As weaker men are swearing
And meat seekers keep staring
Since only sneakers im wearing
'Cause those silly tweekers not caring
'Bout what their fellow Freakers are sharing
So with no fears and no flaws
She bowed to their applause
Up on the pedestal
That's where she was
Though she wasn't there for her gold medal
She was there for her bust
With those 36 C's
Looking lovingly [crossed out: ] back at me
my eyes teared up a little
I felt my knees get weak
I was thinking to myself
There's a motel [crossed out: ] right down the street
Hey babe, we could play KIK
Make the room get dark then hide beneath the sheets
I asked "wouldn't that be neat?"
And she said "sweet"
I just couldn't wait
For our thighs to meet
And her legs to part
Like I'm Moses [crossed out: ] in the Red Sea
oh, oh no baby... how 'bout I call you next week
If you
know what I
mean (that's the clean)
when there's
ah - no strings
attached!
---
She bowed to their applause
That's where she was
Though she wasn't there for her gold medal
She was there for her bust
With those 36 C's
Looking lovingly back at me
My eyes teared up a little
I felt my knees get weak
I was thinking to myself
There's a motel down the street
Hey babe, we could play KKK
Make the room get dark then hide beneath the sheets
I asked "Wouldn't that be neat?"
I just couldn't wait
For our thighs to meet
And her legs to part
Like I'm Moses in the Red Sea
Oh, oh no baby... how 'bout I call you next week
If you know what I mean (that sh*t be clean)
oh - no strings attached!
by Tom Jensen
I have an agenda
My Personal Pamplet of propaganda
to some It's a real mind bender [crossed out word] over
Why I'd [crossed out word] cure stupid [crossed out word] cancer
[crossed-out line]
If you've ever watched Jerry Springer
[crossed out word] then you [crossed out word] should have your answer
There's no way Miley Cyrus should be a singer
Though she can [crossed out: sing] be a dancer
climb my pole and
put down those toxins that keep making you ill
Pick up a hot stripper and her friend named Jill
Ask them what they'd do for a handful of bills
If the answer is you then go and get your fill
With this advice in mind
Let's have ourselves a good time
Well the speakers are blaring
As weaker men are swearing
While critiovers are [crossed out: staring] comparing
And meat seekers keep staring
Since only sneakers I'm wearing
'Cause streakers are daring
'Course those silly tweekers not caring
'Bout what their fellow Freakers are sharing
So with no fears and no flaws
She bowed to their applause
Up on the pedestal
That's where she was
Though she wasn't there for her gold medal
She was there for her bust
With those 36C's
Looking lovingly [crossed out word] back at me
my eyes teared up a little
I felt my knees get weak
I was thinking to myself
There's a motel [crossed out word] right [crossed out word] down the street
Hey babe, we could play KKK
Make the room get dark then hide beneath the sheets
I asked "wouldn't that be neat?"
And She said "sweet!"
I just couldn't wait
For our thighs to meet
And her legs to part
like I'm Moses in the Red Sea
Oh, oh no baby... how 'bout I call you next week
[in the margin, with an arrow: If you know what I mean (that shit be clean) ... when there's ah - no strings attached!]
---
HEAVENLY
by Tom Jense
I have an agenda
My Personal Pamplet of propaganda
to some It's a real mind bender over
Why I'd [crossed out] cure stupid [crossed out] cancer
If you've ever watched Jerry Springer
[crossed out] you [crossed out] should have your answer
There's no way Miley Cyrus should be a singer
Though she can [crossed out] be a dancer
climb my pole and
Put down those toxins that keep making you ill
Pick up a hot stripper and her friend named Jill
Ask them what they'd do for a handful of bills
If the answer is you then go and get your fill
With this advice in mind
ourselves
[crossed out] Let's have a good time
Well the speakers are blaring
As weaker men are swearing
While critiovers are [crossed out] comparing
And meat seekers keep staring
Since only sneakers I'm wearing
'cause sneakers are daring
---
be a dance
climb my pole and
Put down those toxins that keep making you ill
Pick up a hot stripper and her friend named Jil
Ask them what they'd do for a handful of bills
If the answer is you then go and get your fills
With this advice in mind
ourselves Let's have a good time
Well the speakers are blaring
As weaker men are swearing
While critiquers are [crossed out: dreaming] comparing
And meat seekers keep staring
Since only sneakers I'm wearing
'Cause streakers are daring
'Course those silly tweekers not caring
'Bout what their fellow Freakers are sharing
So with no fears and no flaws
She bowed to their applause
Up on the pedestal
That's where she was
Though she wasn't there for her gold medal
She was there for her bust
With those 36 C's
Looking lovingly [crossed out: right] back at me
My eyes teared up a little
I felt my knees get weak
I was thinking to myself
There's a motel [crossed out: right] down the street
Hey babe, we could play kkk
Make the room get dark then hide beneath the sheets
I asked "Wouldn't that be neat?"
And she said "sweet!"
I just couldn't wait
For our thoughts to meet
And her legs to part
Like I'm Moses [crossed out: in] the Red Sea /
If you know what I mean (that's it)
when there's no strings attached!
---
with this advice in mind
let's have a good time
you then go and get your fill
Well the speakers are blaring
As weaker men are swearing
And meat seekers keep staring
Since only sneakers im wearing
'Cause those silly tweekers not caring
'Bout what their fellow Freakers are sharing
So with no fears and no flaws
She bowed to their applause
Up on the pedestal
That's where she was
Though she wasn't there for her gold medal
She was there for her bust
With those 36 C's
Looking lovingly [crossed out: ] back at me
my eyes teared up a little
I felt my knees get weak
I was thinking to myself
There's a motel [crossed out: ] right down the street
Hey babe, we could play KIK
Make the room get dark then hide beneath the sheets
I asked "wouldn't that be neat?"
And she said "sweet"
I just couldn't wait
For our thighs to meet
And her legs to part
Like I'm Moses [crossed out: ] in the Red Sea
oh, oh no baby... how 'bout I call you next week
If you
know what I
mean (that's the clean)
when there's
ah - no strings
attached!
---
She bowed to their applause
That's where she was
Though she wasn't there for her gold medal
She was there for her bust
With those 36 C's
Looking lovingly back at me
My eyes teared up a little
I felt my knees get weak
I was thinking to myself
There's a motel down the street
Hey babe, we could play KKK
Make the room get dark then hide beneath the sheets
I asked "Wouldn't that be neat?"
I just couldn't wait
For our thighs to meet
And her legs to part
Like I'm Moses in the Red Sea
Oh, oh no baby... how 'bout I call you next week
If you know what I mean (that sh*t be clean)
oh - no strings attached!
RATED NC-17 · POEMS NOT YET RELEASED · FULL
Item 297
This is my gel pen
In one sentence: An adult piece, rated NC-17: a tongue-in-cheek handwritten love poem on a single lined notebook sheet, later printed in Tom's poem books, about 2000-2002.
Item type
POEM · UNRELEASED · FULL POEM
PUBLISHED · POEM · FULL
Tom's handwritten bawdy, tongue-in-cheek love poem This is my gel pen, published in 200 Poems Waiting For Music and his poem anthologies, written on a single lined notebook sheet.
- Why it matters
- Tom's handwritten bawdy, tongue-in-cheek love poem from his early yellow binder, published in 200 Poems Waiting For Music (2013), Shorter Lyrics (2013) and his poem anthologies.
- Type
- Handwritten sheet
- Collection
- Yellow binder (early poems) ; Finished Song Lyrics (2011) ; 180 Good Poems (2012) ; 200 Poems Waiting For Music (2013) ; Shorter Lyrics (2013) ; A Lifetime Of Rhyme (2020) ; Love ; Humor
- Published in
- IN A BOOK200 Poems Waiting For Music (2013)
Tom Jensen Poem Anthology (2013)
Brian Rainstorm: Poetry Not Dead (2014)
180 Good Poems (2012)
Shorter Lyrics (2013)
A Lifetime Of Rhyme (2020)
Tom's Anthology, July 25, 2012
Tom's Anthology, September 18, 2011
Finished Song Lyrics (2011) - Age when written
- written at age 18 to 23from its place in Tom's yellow binder index (line P15) - the binder held 481 poems by 5 April 2002, when Tom was 23
- Same words
- also written out as numbers 566, 665 and 792
- On the site
- Tom's Story: 2001
Price · Tier · Tom fills these
The only picture of this piece
The words on this page
Her vagina was warm and moist like mashed potatoes
Her tits hung there like two juicy ripe tomatoes
Her legs were long and lean
Her thighs were milky white like vanilla icecream
Her nipples were perky and hard like lima beans
She had the sweetest candy ass that I've ever seen
Her tits hung there like two juicy ripe tomatoes
Her legs were long and lean
Her thighs were milky white like vanilla icecream
Her nipples were perky and hard like lima beans
She had the sweetest candy ass that I've ever seen
Item 602
Little Sex Buddha
In one sentence: An adult piece, rated NC-17: an unpublished comic handwritten lyric in black ink on a long folded sheet of lined loose-leaf, about 2012-2018.
Item type
POEM · UNRELEASED · FULL POEM
UNPUBLISHED · POEM · FULL
Tom's previously unpublished handwritten lyric LITTLE SEX BUDDHA by Tom Jensen, in black ink on a long folded sheet of lined loose-leaf, a comic boast about sun, chrome and poolside romance.
- Why it matters
- Tom's original handwritten lyric Little Sex Buddha, signed by Tom Jensen on a long folded sheet, never published, a comic boast about sun, chrome and poolside romance.
- Type
- Handwritten sheet
- Collection
- Previously unpublished poems ; Funny ; Adult
- Published in
- PREVIOUSLY UNPUBLISHEDSearched against the 34 albums, every book and Poems By Tom - found in none of them
- Age when written
- written at about age 34 to 39 - an estimatenothing on this piece itself dates it; estimated from the pieces numbered next to it (item 600 and item 603), since Tom's pieces are bunched together by date - not proved
- On the site
- Tom's Story: 2015
Price · Tier · Tom fills these
Picture 1 of 3
Picture 2 of 3
Picture 3 of 3
The words on this page
Little Sex Buddha by Tom Jensen
Been getting some sun on the guns
A little chrome on the dome
I'm one copulating fool
Bakinis dropping by the pool
Whose next?
I got the latex
You're correct...
I practice safe sex
'cause kids cost alot
Especially when you met mom where?
shit! I forgot...
You see I can't stop
Once I found out about the women
I've been determined to get up in it
The trouble now is getting out of it
The last three I been with:
A divorcee, an arsonist and a feminist
You see one burned her spouse
Another one burned down a house
And the last one on our list
Dumped me for a chick and moved south
Said she left with a bad taste in her mouth
It's over, she's out
Yeah, and I'm a little teapot
Come and sip from my spont!
So That flame's gone I ain't wit' her
Though A new one's begun
Found a little sex Buddha on twitter
She be hotter than the sun!
My new girlfriend's name is Megan Rain
She's been scored on more than Wilt Chamberlain
Them holes been getting filled
Since she reached the age of consent
Now her ass pays the bills
And dat pussy the rent
And when her hands got a job
They be paying for our vacations
Just like when she's corning the cob
Is what we call bank account inflations
When my baby leans up on the screen
You just can't turn off the stream
All that bloods running through the veins
Maher ya feel like a real man of steal again
Yeah, that's my girlfriend Little sex Buddha
Blue-Ah
They don't cum any cuter!
---
Little Sex Buddha by Tom Jenser
Been getting some sun on the guns
A little Chrome on the dome
I'm one copulating fool
Bakin's dropping by the pool
Whose next?
I got the latex
You're correct...
I practice safe sex
'Cause kids cost alot
Especially when you met mom where?
shit! I forgot...
You see I can't stop
Once I found out about the women
I've been determined to get up in it
The trouble now is getting out of it
The last three I been with:
A divorcee, an arsonist and a feminist
You see one burned her spouse
Another one burned down a house
And the last one on our list
Dumped me for a chick and moved south
Said she left with a bad taste in her mouth
It's over, she's out
Yeah and I'm a little teapot + 1
---
Once I found out about the women
I've been determined to get up in it
The trouble now is getting out of it
The last three I been with:
A divorcee, an arsonist and a [crossed out word] feminist
You see one burned her spouse
Another one burned down a house
And the last one on our list
Dumped me for a chick and moved south
Said she left with a bad taste in her mouth
It's over, she's out
Yeah, and I'm a little teapot
Come and sip from my spont!
So That flame's gone I ain't wit' her
Though A new one's begun
Found a little sex Buddha on twitter
She be hotter than the sun!
In the distance? P-alt You ARE!
My new girlfriends name is Megan Rain
She's been scored on more than Wilt Chamberlain
Them holes been getting filled
Since she reached the age of consent
Now her ass pays the bills
And dat pussy the rent
And When her hand's got a job
They be paying for our vacations
Just like when she's corning the cob
Is what we call bank account inflations
When my baby leans up on the screen
You just can't turn off the stream
All that bloods running through the veins
Maher'ya feel like a man of steal real again
Yeah, that's my Girl friend Little sex Buddha
Blue- Ah they don't cum cuter!
Been getting some sun on the guns
A little chrome on the dome
I'm one copulating fool
Bakinis dropping by the pool
Whose next?
I got the latex
You're correct...
I practice safe sex
'cause kids cost alot
Especially when you met mom where?
shit! I forgot...
You see I can't stop
Once I found out about the women
I've been determined to get up in it
The trouble now is getting out of it
The last three I been with:
A divorcee, an arsonist and a feminist
You see one burned her spouse
Another one burned down a house
And the last one on our list
Dumped me for a chick and moved south
Said she left with a bad taste in her mouth
It's over, she's out
Yeah, and I'm a little teapot
Come and sip from my spont!
So That flame's gone I ain't wit' her
Though A new one's begun
Found a little sex Buddha on twitter
She be hotter than the sun!
My new girlfriend's name is Megan Rain
She's been scored on more than Wilt Chamberlain
Them holes been getting filled
Since she reached the age of consent
Now her ass pays the bills
And dat pussy the rent
And when her hands got a job
They be paying for our vacations
Just like when she's corning the cob
Is what we call bank account inflations
When my baby leans up on the screen
You just can't turn off the stream
All that bloods running through the veins
Maher ya feel like a real man of steal again
Yeah, that's my girlfriend Little sex Buddha
Blue-Ah
They don't cum any cuter!
---
Little Sex Buddha by Tom Jenser
Been getting some sun on the guns
A little Chrome on the dome
I'm one copulating fool
Bakin's dropping by the pool
Whose next?
I got the latex
You're correct...
I practice safe sex
'Cause kids cost alot
Especially when you met mom where?
shit! I forgot...
You see I can't stop
Once I found out about the women
I've been determined to get up in it
The trouble now is getting out of it
The last three I been with:
A divorcee, an arsonist and a feminist
You see one burned her spouse
Another one burned down a house
And the last one on our list
Dumped me for a chick and moved south
Said she left with a bad taste in her mouth
It's over, she's out
Yeah and I'm a little teapot + 1
---
Once I found out about the women
I've been determined to get up in it
The trouble now is getting out of it
The last three I been with:
A divorcee, an arsonist and a [crossed out word] feminist
You see one burned her spouse
Another one burned down a house
And the last one on our list
Dumped me for a chick and moved south
Said she left with a bad taste in her mouth
It's over, she's out
Yeah, and I'm a little teapot
Come and sip from my spont!
So That flame's gone I ain't wit' her
Though A new one's begun
Found a little sex Buddha on twitter
She be hotter than the sun!
In the distance? P-alt You ARE!
My new girlfriends name is Megan Rain
She's been scored on more than Wilt Chamberlain
Them holes been getting filled
Since she reached the age of consent
Now her ass pays the bills
And dat pussy the rent
And When her hand's got a job
They be paying for our vacations
Just like when she's corning the cob
Is what we call bank account inflations
When my baby leans up on the screen
You just can't turn off the stream
All that bloods running through the veins
Maher'ya feel like a man of steal real again
Yeah, that's my Girl friend Little sex Buddha
Blue- Ah they don't cum cuter!
RATED NC-17 · POEMS NOT YET RELEASED · SHORT
Item 649
You Better Lock Up the Henny
In one sentence: An adult piece, rated NC-17: a short black-pen party lyric on lined notebook paper torn at the top, later printed in Shorter Lyrics, written by 2013.
Item type
POEM · UNRELEASED · SHORTER LYRICS
PUBLISHED · POEM · SHORT
Tom's handwritten short lyric YOU BETTER LOCK UP THE HENNY, in black pen on a sheet of lined notebook paper torn at the top, a raunchy party boast, published in Shorter Lyrics (2013).
- Why it matters
- Tom's original handwritten short lyric You Better Lock Up The Henny, a raunchy party boast, published in Shorter Lyrics (2013).
- Type
- Handwritten sheet
- Collection
- Shorter Lyrics (2013) ; Drugs & Alcohol ; Funny ; Adult
- Published in
- IN A BOOKShorter Lyrics (2013)
- Age when written
- written by age 34 at the latestdated from the earliest book it appears in - the sheet itself may be older
- Same words
- also written out as number 946matched on the words by machine - Tom confirms
- On the site
- Tom's Story: 2013
Price · Tier · Tom fills these
The only picture of this piece
The words on this page
you better lock up the henny
because I'm getting ready
BUSTING nuts into sluts by the dozen
Gonna try to make some loving
with my sweet second cousin
Oh!! hide your sister tonight!
keep your daughter close by your side
If I can get my timing right
I just might find my way inside
because I'm getting ready
BUSTING nuts into sluts by the dozen
Gonna try to make some loving
with my sweet second cousin
Oh!! hide your sister tonight!
keep your daughter close by your side
If I can get my timing right
I just might find my way inside
RATED NC-17 · PRINTED BOOKS, BINDERS AND NOTEBOOKS · SPIRAL BOOK OF FUNNY POEMS
Item 1092
FUNNY & OFFENSIVE POEMS
In one sentence: A spiral-bound book of Tom's comic poems with an index, marked for mature audiences only; rated NC-17, 2011 or later.
Item type
SPIRAL BOOK OF FUNNY POEMS
UNPUBLISHED
Tom's spiral-bound book FUNNY & OFFENSIVE POEMS by Tom Jensen, marked for mature audiences only and dated March 1, 2011, with an index of his funny poems.
- Why it matters
- Tom's spiral-bound book Funny and Offensive Poems, dated March 1, 2011 and marked for mature audiences, with an index of his funny poems - the collection of his comic poems in one place.
- Type
- Book
- Collection
- Books by Tom ; Funny poems ; Humor
- Age when written
- made at age 32 or laterproved: the book's page 1 says Date of this new anthology is March 1, 2011
- On the site
- Tom's Story: 2011
Price · Tier · Tom fills these
Picture 1 of 4
Picture 2 of 4
Picture 3 of 4
Picture 4 of 4
The words on this page
FUNNY & OFFENSIVE
POEMS
by
Tom Jensen
READTOM.com
1
THIS BOOK IS FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
DEDICATION: This book is dedicated to anyone who has ever stood up to somebody who told them that they couldn't do something - even if that person was yourself...perhaps especially if that person was yourself. Please dispense of all your fears in the wastepaper basket located over on the floor there to your right. Thank you. Have a nice day.
ABOUT THIS BOOK: If you were ever a fan of my work then please don't read this book...This is me venting. These poems are all meant to be entertaining only! Please don't think that everything here fully represents me and what I am all about. Certainly most of it does...especially the one about the horse...but this is just me blowing off some steam and having fun. So loosen up and laugh a little.
My website is readtom.com
Do you readtom.com?
First you become a reader....then you become a believer...
Then we all get together...to try to make this world better...
ALL LYRICS © COPYWRITTEN BY TOM JENSEN on 2011 or before...
Date of this new anthology is March 1, 2011
NOTE TO READER - THIS ANTHOLOGY COMES IN FOUR (4) PARTS:
(1) SUMMARIES - short descriptions of all poems contained in this anthology.
(2) FUNNY NON-OFFENSIVE POEMS - these ones are not too, too bad in terms of language, content and shock value.
(3) FUNNY OFFENSIVE POEMS - these are a bit over the top for some people and therefore have their own special place to all hang out together. Chances are if you read them all then I'm going to have said something that you didn't agree with.
(4) FUNNY REALLY OFFENSIVE POEMS - I can here the sirens coming for me now. Don't shoot...Only read this stuff with one eye at a time or you will go blind!
(continues - pages 2 and 3 are not in the photos)
4
FUNNY NON - OFFENSIVE POEMS
p. 4 BEATS GROWING CORN- ode to pot growers
p. 5 DO DO YOU WANNA - true tales about money
p. 6 FLOATING HEAD - knowing your limitations
p. 6 FLY SWATTER OF LOVE - yup, that's me stuck to the window
p. 7 FREE WILLY - why hot chicks are so awesome
p. 8 HEAD FIRST - get your mind out of the gutter...thank you
p. 9 HOT TODDY - a Viking drunk on a boat
p. 10 HURTING HER KNEES AND PRIDE - parking lot sex (wrote at 20 [unclear]
p. 12 LEGEND - in my mind, anyways
p. 12 LOST AND FOUND - there are only four types of girls...
p. 13 NO THANKS BABE - ...this would be one of them
p. 14 NUMBER ONE - sketchy guy who can always find pot
p. 15 OLD FRIENDS - getting away from the party scene and crowd
p. 16 OUTTA THE PARK - as long as you're at the stadium, right?
p. 17 PARK THE CAR - funny accents
p. 17 PEOPLE IN MY POCKET - hello? hello?
p. 18 REHAB - funny song about the Betty Ford clinic
p. 19 SKATING WITH BILL LEE - I like brownies
p. 20 THAT'S THAT - I wish I was sexy
p. 21 UH, THAT'S CHRISTMAS NANA - old people forget stuff
p. 22 YOU SPILLED MY COFFEE - restoring faith in humanity
BEATS GROWING CORN
I'm just a farmer
growing marijuana
I don't wanna harm ya
I'm not trying to alarm ya
(continues - the rest of this poem and the rest of the book are not in the photos)
POEMS
by
Tom Jensen
READTOM.com
1
THIS BOOK IS FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
DEDICATION: This book is dedicated to anyone who has ever stood up to somebody who told them that they couldn't do something - even if that person was yourself...perhaps especially if that person was yourself. Please dispense of all your fears in the wastepaper basket located over on the floor there to your right. Thank you. Have a nice day.
ABOUT THIS BOOK: If you were ever a fan of my work then please don't read this book...This is me venting. These poems are all meant to be entertaining only! Please don't think that everything here fully represents me and what I am all about. Certainly most of it does...especially the one about the horse...but this is just me blowing off some steam and having fun. So loosen up and laugh a little.
My website is readtom.com
Do you readtom.com?
First you become a reader....then you become a believer...
Then we all get together...to try to make this world better...
ALL LYRICS © COPYWRITTEN BY TOM JENSEN on 2011 or before...
Date of this new anthology is March 1, 2011
NOTE TO READER - THIS ANTHOLOGY COMES IN FOUR (4) PARTS:
(1) SUMMARIES - short descriptions of all poems contained in this anthology.
(2) FUNNY NON-OFFENSIVE POEMS - these ones are not too, too bad in terms of language, content and shock value.
(3) FUNNY OFFENSIVE POEMS - these are a bit over the top for some people and therefore have their own special place to all hang out together. Chances are if you read them all then I'm going to have said something that you didn't agree with.
(4) FUNNY REALLY OFFENSIVE POEMS - I can here the sirens coming for me now. Don't shoot...Only read this stuff with one eye at a time or you will go blind!
(continues - pages 2 and 3 are not in the photos)
4
FUNNY NON - OFFENSIVE POEMS
p. 4 BEATS GROWING CORN- ode to pot growers
p. 5 DO DO YOU WANNA - true tales about money
p. 6 FLOATING HEAD - knowing your limitations
p. 6 FLY SWATTER OF LOVE - yup, that's me stuck to the window
p. 7 FREE WILLY - why hot chicks are so awesome
p. 8 HEAD FIRST - get your mind out of the gutter...thank you
p. 9 HOT TODDY - a Viking drunk on a boat
p. 10 HURTING HER KNEES AND PRIDE - parking lot sex (wrote at 20 [unclear]
p. 12 LEGEND - in my mind, anyways
p. 12 LOST AND FOUND - there are only four types of girls...
p. 13 NO THANKS BABE - ...this would be one of them
p. 14 NUMBER ONE - sketchy guy who can always find pot
p. 15 OLD FRIENDS - getting away from the party scene and crowd
p. 16 OUTTA THE PARK - as long as you're at the stadium, right?
p. 17 PARK THE CAR - funny accents
p. 17 PEOPLE IN MY POCKET - hello? hello?
p. 18 REHAB - funny song about the Betty Ford clinic
p. 19 SKATING WITH BILL LEE - I like brownies
p. 20 THAT'S THAT - I wish I was sexy
p. 21 UH, THAT'S CHRISTMAS NANA - old people forget stuff
p. 22 YOU SPILLED MY COFFEE - restoring faith in humanity
BEATS GROWING CORN
I'm just a farmer
growing marijuana
I don't wanna harm ya
I'm not trying to alarm ya
(continues - the rest of this poem and the rest of the book are not in the photos)